Bethgael's Spot

This blog...

2010-03-30T08:14:00.000+10:00

Hey there. This blog is here to draw together all of the elements I've thrown together, over time, on the web. Since the late 1990s, I've played in the Age of Wonders universe, the Final Fantasy VII universe, the Baldur's Gate universe, the Might and Magic universe and on The Sims 2. A lot of the stuff is defunct, now, but I've spent some time updating my fairly well-known "Reno's Story" lately and this will give a chance for my other stories (not written in my real name) to find a home, especially given that their previous ones have, in some cases, disappeared into the ether.

This is the page I update if I have anything to say, so feel free to bookmark. I may add a rants page, too.

But for now, you can see my Notes on Sims 2 Pay Sites within my Writing For The Sims 2 Tutorial.

News: 6 August 2008: I just found out that Reno's Story has won the 2007 Genesis Award for Best Work In Progress Fanfic. That's kinda.... real nice. Thanks, guys.

14 November 2007: Tempestmir and I have started a new forum for all of our writing, in all formats. All of my stories, with the exception of those on this blog and Reno's Story, will be hosted there from now on.

Feel free to Join In here: Cassiopeia

I have also started doing digiart again. Years ago, I was a member of the PSP User's group, back when I had PaintShop Pro 5... which I am still using. And Corel just released version XI. Hmm. Anyway, if you want to see my latest effort (she says deprecatingly), I have a page on Deviant Art. Hmm. I'm thinking I need to brush up on my skills though (ha ha. Look ma, I did a pun).

Someone on the SxSims 2 board said that they would love to read "everything I've written", which is an incredible thing for any writer to hear, believe me. So, even if just for that one person, here you go. :-)

So, I will update, as time and space allows, links to other stories online, as well as posting the lost stories here. It'll take a while.

Warning: some adult content in some stories. In a couple of cases, a lot of adult content. I will be putting the appropriate labels on the stories. Use common sense, m'kay?

If you want to comment, you don't need a blogger account. Just use "Other" and fill in your handle, or "anonymous" and sign your name (if you want). Easy. :)

All of the Stories

Story Links

2010-03-18T12:53:00.002+10:00

Warning Notices:
[sp] - spoilers [A] - Adult Content [E] - Explicit erotic content
[L] - Language [V] - Violence [I] - Violent or Erotic Images
[N] - Some nudity [U] - Unfinished [!!] - Updated

The Stories

Final Fantasy VII

The Reno Cycles

Reno's Story. Now back up after a long absence. Still in the lengthy, lengthy process of rewrite, will be updated gradually as time allows.
Winner of the 2007 Genesis Award for Best In-Progress Fanfic.
[sp], [A], [E], [L], [V], [U], [!! 6 May 10]
Please put all comments re Reno's Story over at the Reno site or on the Reno's Story Thread at Cassiopeia. Ta muchly. :-)

Conversations With Reno: coming again once Reno's Story is complete.

Undertow: Raith's Story. At Cassiopeia
[sp], [A], [L], [E], [V], [Completed 27 May 09]
Raith's [BC Player D: Male, Two Guns] viewpoint of Reno's story. Follows the same game canon as Reno's Story, and should be in concert with Reno's.

The Evanescence Cycles
Designed to compliment, and be read with, Reno's Story

Fallen
[sp], [A], [L], [E], [V], [U], [!! 14 Dec 08]
Reno's Story: Cloud's Viewpoint. A series of snapshots written as an exercise, not a follow-on story. Don't read before reading the main Reno's Story if you don't want it spoiled.

The Open Door: Coming soon to Cassiopeia
[sp], [A], [L], [E], [V], [U]
Vincent and Yuffie fic suggested to me by Reno during the writing of Conversations. Follows the same game canon as Reno's Story, with some exceptions.

Final Fantasies
@ Cassiopeia. Membership of the site is required to view these stories, and you must be 18 years or over.

Fantasy the First: Someway, Somehow
[sp], [A], [E], [I]
Cloud and Tifa a week before Meteorfall. Not related to The Reno Cycles.

Fantasy the Third: Your Bore coming soon
[sp], [A], [L], [E], [I]
Reno and Rude search for Cloud during AC. Adapted for TS2 from The Reno Cycles.

Final Fantasy FVII Asylum: A mostly Asylum challenge with Reno, Raith, Rude, Clouad, Tifa, Tseng, Elena and Vincent sims.
[N], [L], [U], [!! 7 Jun 09]

AC You-Tube Video: Coming soon.
AC Parody You-Tube video: Coming soon

Final Fantasy X & X-2

Final Fantasies
@ Cassiopeia. Membership of the site is required to view these stories, and you must be 18 years or over.

Fantasy the Second: Isn't It Wonderful
[sp], [A], [E], [I], [!! 6 Jun 07]
Tidus & Yuna: What we didn't see in the Macalania FMV.

FFX You-Tube Video: Coming soon
FFX/X-2 You Tube video: coming soon

Might and Magic VII

For Blood and Honor: Bethgael Amberhair and Co: A walkthrough as A Story. On site, worksafe.
[sp] , [U] , [!! 26 Apr, 07]
Comment on this story

Random Offerings

Cassiopeia Enigma: Story/Parody of films and the Cassiopeia regulars.
[L], [U], [!! 10 Dec, 07]

The Archaeologist : The story of a man rebounding through time. Or is he? Rewritten into text format.
[A], [E], [L], [U], [!! 1 Jan 08]
@ Cassiopeia. Membership of the site is required to view this story, and you must be 18 years or over.

The Sims 2

Tales of Isabeau Valenwood
@ Cassiopeia. Membership of the site is required to view these stories, and you must be 18 years or over.

A Continent Too Far: The Journey of Isabeau Valenwood.
[A], [E], [L], [V], [I]

A Continent Too Far II: Isabeau's Journey Continues.
[A], [E], [V], [L], [I]

A Continent Too Far III: The final installment of Isabeau's story.
[A], [E], [V], [L], [I]

Mothers of Destiny: the prequel to the A Continent Too Far trilogy.
[A], [E], [L], [I], [sp], [U], [!! 13 Sept 08]

The Muse Chronicles
@ Cassiopeia. Membership of the site is required to view these stories, and you must be 18 years or over for some stories.

The Adventures of Beth Gael (my self sim) and friends

In chronological order:

The Muse Chronicles
[A], [L], [N], [E], [U], [!! 15 Jun '08]

The First Asylum Challenge: A bit 'o fun with some of the SS2/Cass regulars.
[A], [L], [N]

The Bachelor: SS2: Seven SS2 regulars vie for the heart of Michael St. Claire, one of the region's most eligible bachelors. Who will win? Written by Cvalh.
[A], [N]

The Second Asylum Challenge: A bit 'o fun with some of the SS2/Cass regulars. Written by Tempestmir.
[A], [L], [N]

The Bachelorette Challenge: Will Tempest's self-sim find love?
[A], [E], [L], [I], [U], [!! 1 Jul 08]

Conversations with Muses: The official Muse meeting, coming soon

The Gael Legacy : coming soon [U]

Other Sims 2 Stories

Final Fantasies
[sp], [A], [E], [I], [!! 6 Jun 07]
@ Cassiopeia. Membership of the site is required to view these stories, and you must be 18 years or over.

The Archaeologist : The story of a man rebounding through time. Or is he?
[A], [E], [I], [L], [U] [Now converted to text format]
@ Cassiopeia. Membership of the site is required to view this story, and you must be 18 years or over.

The Stripper: When Jess' business partner is murdered, she becomes the main suspect.
[A], [V], [E], [I], [L], [U], [!! 16 Oct 07]
@ Cassiopeia. Membership of the site is required to view this story, and you must be 18 years or over.

Whisper To Me: Life's about dues and taking your chances. But does it pay off?
[A], [E], [I], [L]
@ Cassiopeia. Membership of the site is required to view this story, and you must be 18 years or over.

Final Fantasy FVII Asylum: A mostly Asylum challenge with Reno, Raith, Rude, Cloud, Tifa, Tseng, Elena and Vincent sims.
[N], [L], [U], [!! 7 Jun 09]
@ Cassiopeia. Membership of the site is required to view this story, and you must be 18 years or over.

Tutorials and Other Stuffs

Sims 2 Survivor Challenge. Currently in playtesting, results, so far, here. (coming soon)
Comment on or ask questions about this challenge

Writing Good Stories: Tricks and Tips. For The Sims 2, as well as general writing. On this site.
[L], [U], [!! 27 Jun 07]
Comment on this tutorial

SimVivor

2009-06-02T22:46:00.008+10:00

Sims Survivor Challenge

Currently in playtesting... see how it's going here [coming soon]

This challenge is designed specifically for all EPs, although it is not necessary to have them all.

However, the Bon Voyage EP is essential. You need a beach lot, one of the reward items and many of the recreational stuffs. Open For Business and Free Time are also desirable, but if you don't have these EPs, then you can make up your own challenges for immunity and rewards.

The aim of the game: Outwit--oops, trademarked... never mind. The last sim standing wins. :D

The only way you can lose this challenge is if you: 1. cheat, or 2. Kill a sim, although if anyone wants to suggest a possible points system for comparisons I'm game.

The Tribal Home Lots

Make two beach lots for your 2 tribes, any size feasible for your system. The largest lot is ideal, but if your system won't cope, then smaller is fine. You can either make one lot, put it in the lot bin and then use a copy of that lot for both tribes, or you can design each one separately.

There may only be, to start:

Shelter, if you have the Seasons EP, as you may not allow your sims to die of cold, heat, hailstorms, etc. The shelter may only be large enough to keep your sims... sheltered, if they are all lying down on the floor. This means it may be no wider than 4 squares and no longer than 9 squares. If you do not have Seasons, and your sims cannot die of the weather, then this is optional.

Note: Your shelter will need to have a roof and at least 2 walls -- a flat roof made of floor tiles won't work; you must use the flat "autoroof" feature or the game won't recognise any floor tiles as roofs. Hint: put up 4 walls, add the roof, then remove 2 walls.
A small, complete, livable hut for your controllable sim and for the sims who are voted off of the tribe early in the game. This may have the proper amenities, as comfy as you like, but must be kept behind a locked door or gate for the controllable sim only (use the cheat "move_objects on" to move the eliminated into that area). Place a "lightning rod" on or near this building to lessen the odds of trees catching on fire within the lot--this is summer, after all. Note: this may lead to some or all of your Contestant Sims spending a lot of time trying to get through the locked gate to these amenities and whining at you as their motives get low. Annoying, but tough titties for them. ;) We've all watched the series; it's par for the course. :D
A flat area large enough for challenges (large enough for 7 treadmills, or 3 log roll things).
A locked tribal council area with 7 seating spots with comfort no more than 5.
Fence off the front of the lot or create it in such a way that any visitors to the lot may not enter, or your controllable sim can send them on their way. If you use gates, set them to lock sims only, but "allow pets".
Best types of plants to use are trees and any plants that don't require care/watering (such as the buyable plants from parsimonious.org).

Custom content is allowed, subject to motive guidelines. The Environment score can be anything you like.

You may use the cheat "motherlode" if necessary to build your lot.

Clearly, Free Will needs to be set to "on".

You may decorate in any way you like, but no food trees, fishing ponds or any other food, comfort, or motive-raising item may be used. No fires or heat sources, or other hobby equipment. If you have seasons, set to 4 x summer.

There is no toilet, no shower, no beds or seating, no skill building objects at all. Yes, no fridge that they can use, so how will you keep them alive? More about that later.

You may install a fire alarm in what will later be the grill/campfire area, either straight away or when they win their fire. The aim of the game is not to get your sims killed, after all.

Add 1 trash bin for the Contestant Sims, near their shelter. This is emptied once per day by the Host Sim. NB: This cannot be the Apartment Life Trash-Tahk Chute or any other that allows for infinite waste disposal.

The Community Lot

You will also need a "reward" lot for the individual rewards challenges later in the game, to be put in the same 'hood as your beach lots (ie, not a downtown, vacation, shopping district, etc, lot).

On this lot, you will need at least the following useable items:

1 Soft'n'Tender massage table/masseuse
A Sweat It Out Sauna )
Public toilets and sinks
An Ancient Soakalicious Hot Spring or Hot tub
A Bar
A Taste of the Tropics Food Stand or Restaurant
A Barista

Otherwise, feel free to deck it out, decorate, music, lights, etc, as you see fit, but no hacked items.

Sims:

Two tribes of 8 sims (16 sims in all). This is made up of 7 uncontrolled sims, the Contestant Sims, plus one controllable sim, the Host Sim. The controllable sim is there only to prevent the death of the others, and is the equivalent of the Survivor medico.
Make your Host Sim as a separate family (ie, 2 families each of 1 "Host Sim", plus two families each of 7 Contestant Sims). If you are making a story, or similar, showing results, then you may make the same Host Sim for both lots (using a Cloned sim) if you wish.
All sims should be adults. Elders have a disadvantage due to bladder, etc, differences, and teens need to go to school.
The Contestant Sims may not have been previously played, even if you strip them of things like aspiration points and such-like, they will still have built invisible stuff like gender preferences. The exception is the Host Sim (see below).
Personalities and genders for the Contestant Sims must be rolled, thus:

Gender

1 x D6:

Even number: female
Odd number: male

However, each tribe must not have a male/female ratio of more than 4:3, so if you already have 4 of one gender, then you must have 3 of the other.

Appearance

Roll 1 x D6. This is the number of times you hit the "randomise" button in CAS to determine the hair colour of the sim. This is to avoid giving any unfair advantages to any sims in the attraction stakes.

On a roll of 6, the sim must have a custom hair.

Roll again for fitness: on a roll of 1 or 2, the sim must be "fat".

Star signs

1 x D6:

1. Aries or Taurus
2. Gemini or Cancer
3. Leo or Virgo
4. Libra or Scorpio
5. Sagittarius or Capricorn
6. Aquarius or Pisces

Roll again to determine which:

Even number: the first listed
Odd number: the second listed

Aspiration

1 x D6:

1. Romance
2. Knowledge
3. Popularity
4. Family
5. Pleasure
6. Family

For the purposes of this challenge, if you have Free Time installed, you may not use the secondary aspiration or any of the lifetime aspiration benefits.

Attraction

Turn ons and turn-offs are to be selected randomly, in any way you see fit, but only the following ons/offs may be used in either category:

Red hair
Brown hair
Blond hair
Black hair
Custom hair
Swimwear
Underwear
Fit
Fat
Stinky
Beard
Glasses

Clothing

Sims may not wear makeup or custom makeup, jewellery, or hats.

All males must have scruff of some sort. On a roll of 1 or 2, they may wear a beard. On a roll of 3, they must.

They can wear whatever you'd like them to, otherwise. But you will be looking at it for a long time!

NB: If you want to use self-sims and what-have you, then of course appearance will be fixed (subject to removing makeup, etc). In that case, turn ons and turn offs as well as personality must be randomised.

During the game, your Contestant Sims may not:

Leave the lot (including to work, going on vacation, or indulging in hobby stuff that involves them leaving the lot, eg, hiking, jogging), unless directed by the challenge.
Read the paper -- have the Host Sim remove it as soon as it is delivered or make that area inaccessible.
Associate with any sims outside their own tribe, unless specified by the challenge, until the merge. So if one of the other tribe drops by for a visit, it didn't happen.
Get a job
Get pregnant deliberately (ie, you may not choose "try for baby" and if you have a hack such as Insim or Inteen then you must use the birth control options). Should a sim get pregnant accidentally, then the pregnancy will not advance with "aging off", however of you are playing with aging on then the sim must be the next voted off in that tribe, as the producers will not allow an unborn child to be endangered by the game.
Adopt a child, obviously.
Use any aspiration benefit of any kind, unless specified. This includes the new aspirations/secondary aspirations introduced with the Apartment Life EP.
Buy any item, except as specified in the challenge.
Build skills or relationships, except autonomously, or as specified.
Change clothes except where they do so autonomously (eg, into swimmers when they swim in the ocean), or as directed in the challenge.
Die. If any sims do die, you fail the challenge. You may feed them once a day as discussed (which will prevent death), if need be, and you may direct them out of the weather and away from things such as fires.

You must turn off any hacks that make keeping a relationship easier, eg, you may not use any hacks that allow sims to woohoo without being in love, or that prevent fighting. You may not use any objects that do the same (such as the McNutty's shower or other similar objects).

Exception: the "no jealousy unless engaged or married" hack is acceptable, as it does not affect relationships in an unrealistic way.

Turn off any hacks that prevent annoying behaviour (such as pillow fighting, etc).

NB: Playing challenges like this is made lots easier if you keep all hacks in a separate folder so you can easily move them onto your desktop and then back in again.

You may not cancel any interaction or action of the Contestant Sims, except where you are directed to do so during the challenge, or in an effort to stop sims being ridiculous and getting themselves killed, for example, if a fire starts on the lot and the sims start their "OMGZ panic panic fire! fire! I shall run into it NOW!!!!!!"

Cheats That May Be Used:

move_objects on : to create lot, move sims into the production area or move "stuck" sims only.

motherlode and/or kaching : to create lot and do enough to make sure the sims are fed

aging off : so you can play your sims once they're finished

Building cheats for building only (eg, rotating 45 degrees, snapping to grid off, etc).

Hacks That May Be Used:

Any hacks that allow for same sex relationship equality (eg, same sex pregnancy, marriage instead of joined, etc)
The Simlogical Teleporter or similar may be used to get rid of unwanted visitors and pets.
Hacks that keep sims nude, if wanted, or turn off "shocked" reactions to same.

Other Things That Are Allowed:

If a stray pet wanders onto the lot, the sims may autonomously befriend it, but they may not adopt it. Generally, though, they will not be able to, because the Contestants should be fenced off from the road.
Hobbies that can be done without the benefit of an item (eg, collecting bugs, birdwatching), are fine, if they are started autonomously. If the computer gift is delivered, it may not be used except by the playable Host Sim.
3. You may direct a Contestant sim if such direction will immediately stop them from dying (eg, to eat or to get out of a lightning storm or if they fall asleep on the beach and look like getting heat stroke or killed by hail), and also as directed throughout the challenge. However, this is an emergency only option, so is not an invitation to neglect them until they're almost dead so you can direct them twice in a day.
Once a day, except for Day 1, apart from as directed by the challenge, or to prevent death, you may direct each Contestant Sim only once.

You may only direct them to do a "want", and if there are no wants that apply (eg, you may not buy an item or get them a job), then they may not be directed.

If fulfilling a want of Sim A also fulfils a want of Sim B (for example, if Sim A wishes to "flirt" and Sim B wants to "be friends with Sim A" and flirting makes them friends), then Sim B may not also be directed.

If the direction is cancelled for any reason (eg, a fire breaks out), unless it is due to a bug in the lot, then you may not redirect.

On "reward challenge day" (ie, Days 1, 3, 5, etc), this may be done at any time during the day.

However, on "Immunity Challenge Day" (ie, 2, 4, 6, etc) this may not be done until after the Challenge has been completed. Once the merge has occurred and both challenges are held, then you must direct between the challenges (again, the exception is if a sim is going to die).

You may lock a want until fulfilled. The trick is to use your one direction a day to best effect for all of your contestants, because this will play a part in who eventually wins, and you can't always know who will be eliminated.
You can play your Host sim as normal (hobbies, etc), except that they may not interact with the Contestant sims while they are still Contestants (except as specified), they may not have visitors, and they may not leave the lot. Their "social" motive can be taken care of via phone calls and chatting on the computer.
For the purposes of the challenge, a day is determined to begin and end at midnight. So Day 1 is a "short" day.

More About The Playable/Host Sim

The Host Sim may have been previously played.

Apart from as directed may not interact with the Contestant Sims.

The relationship scores with the Host Sim do not apply to any scoring in the game.

The Host Sim may not leave the lot for the duration of the challenge, unless directed by the challenge.

You will need to do the following things to prepare your Host Sim before you move in your Contestant Sims:

Spawn the "Sim Modder" and get all skills to half, if they aren't at least that already.

Open up your cheat window by hitting Ctrl-shift-C
Enter : boolprop TestingCheatsEnabled true
Shift-click on your sim and select Spawn... more... sim modder
Click on the sim modder and adjust all motives to "mid".
Delete the sim modder
Turn off TCE by opening your cheat window again. This time, enter: boolprop TestingCheatsEnabled false

Warning: failure to turn off this cheat may bork your game.
Spawn Career Rewards

Select your Host Sim
Open your cheat window as before
Enter: unlockCareerRewards
All rewards should now be in your Host Sims Career inventory
The reason for both of these will be apparent as the game goes on.
Buy, and place in your Host Sim's inventory:

7 treadmills
7 seats (maximum comfort: 5)
1 buffet (max hunger: 8)
1 bar (fun: 3)
3 Deluxe Log Rolling Pits
1 Axe-olutely Throwing Station
1 White rabbit bubble blower (comfort: 6, fun: 8)

Use the "motherlode" cheat if necessary.
Order Chinese Takeout and place the tray of Chinese Food in your Host Sim's Inventory.

The Game

Move the Host Sim onto the lot first, either before building it, or by using the FamilyFunds cheat in the neighbourhood screen to give them enough $ to move in.

Then make your 7 Contestants for each lot, and amalgamate them into the lots. This means both tribes start out "on par".

For the first 7 eliminations, the lots are played separately, and you are repeating the process for each lot. You will need to switch lots once a day.

Once per day, the Host Sim can empty the Contestant's garbage. This may only happen once, and the Host Sim may not pick up any other garbage.

While there are two "tribes" (until there are 7 contestants left), odd days are "rewards" days and even days are "immunity challenge" days.

Day 1: Arrival on the Island! The Host Sim calls everyone to the communal area, initiates "hang out", and gets all Contestant Sims to join, then leaves to go to their hut.

Any Contestant Sims that do not join are not to be directed to do so. Any Contestant Sims that leave are not to be directed back.

Other than this, leave the Contestant Sims alone to Free Will.

Reward Challenge:

At 7pm, pause the game and add up the top and bottom relationship scores for all of your Contestant Sims, then save and head to the other lot and repeat Day 1.

The tribe with the highest total has the best teamwork, and wins.

They win: Fire. Add a Grillinator "Big BQ" (maximum hunger: 1), and a fire alarm (if you haven't already) to their lot.

Note: And what if the other tribe are starving to death? This is okay, the Host Sim may order Chinese Takeout and each sim may have 1 box only to stave off death, to a total of once per day until they, too, "get fire" by attending a tribal council. It is a good idea to order this ahead, and have 1 in the inventory every day, so that you don't end up with any starved sims.

Remember: aspiration failure is perfectly fine, death is not!

Yes, they're all eating but the tribe with the grill also have members building cooking points ahead of time, which will matter later, as you shall see.

Once there is a grill on the lot, the Host Sim may no longer order them food.

Using the grill: autonomous. You may use the grill as often as a sim wishes to do so, and may direct a sim to eat of the results if they aren't doing so and are likely to die. You may not direct to clean up afterwards, unless it is one of the "wants" described earlier (ie, if a Contestant rolls "influence a sim to clean").

If no sim autonomously cooks, then you may direct a sim to do so. If you do, this sim may not be directed again for a want. Hint: choose a sim with "gain a cooking skill point" as a want, lock that want and have the sim be your cook.

You may also direct a sim to cook under the same caveats if a sim will starve to death otherwise, even if another sim has cooked.

Note: asking sims on a date is not a way to get around this. Sims may date, but after the initial ask you can't direct that sim again, so be prepared for the date to be a bust.

Day 2: Leave the Contestants to their own devices until 10am, then SAVE your game (so you can reload if you kill someone and wish to continue).

Immunity Challenge:

Obviously, getting both tribes together at this venture is problem-laden, so we're going with an "equivalent".

At 9.45am, pause the game, cancel whatever your Contestant Sims are doing and direct them to the Challenge area.

Put 7 treadmills and 7 seating (maximum comfort 5) in your challenge area.

Physical Challenge: At 10am, pause the game again. Then direct each Contestant Sim to use a treadmill.

If the Contestants refuse to use the treadmill or get off for any reason, you may not redirect them to do so. You may direct them to sit if they do end the challenge.

Continue on the treadmills until all Contestants have jumped off or stopped (for any reason), or for 3 sim hours, whichever comes first.

Once done, score the results:

For each sim that gets a body point:

1 point per sim

For each body point:

1 point per skill point

This should vary, as the sims may have autonomously swum in the ocean, which builds body points, and some sims may not continue to build points for varying reasons (like being too hungry, for example).

Lose a point for each sim who refused to get on at all.

Then repeat the Challenge with the other tribe.

The tribe with the most points has won immunity and gets the Immunity Idol!

To break a tie, add up the relationship points, as before. The team with the highest number had better teamwork, and therefore wins.

What is the Immunity Idol? It is the Adventure Career Award, the big Golden Skull of Jumbok IV. Now, this guy actually ups motives, so he is an advantage... but to stop him from being too much of an advantage, he must not be placed within 8 squares of the shelter (or wherever your sims sleep, if you don't have one). Place the idol on the winner's lot.

At this point, you may direct sim wants, as previously described.

Tribal Council: is at 7pm. Take your losing sims to the Voting area, and let them sit for 15 sim minutes (this balances out the idol a bit ;)).

Pause the game, check relationship scores of the losing tribe and add the daily to the lifetime relationship for each sim. The one with the lowest score has been voted out. The tribe has spoken, and that sim goes into the hut with the Host sim, and may not interact with the Contestant Sims again (this will be especially important later, after the merge).

If this tribe did not win the rewards challenge, they can get their "fire" (grill) at tribal council (this will happen whenever the tribe without the grill loses immunity, however long it takes).

In the event that a sim is pregnant, has severe heat stroke or a flu that has continued for more than 36 sim hours, they automatically are voted out, no matter who won immunity.

Days 3 - 14

This cycle continues until the merge (when you're down to 7 Contestant Sims).

On Days 3, 5, 7, 9, 11 and 13, at 7pm, there is a "reward challenge" run in the exact same way as on Day 1.

However, you can only do this with the same number of sims on each lot, so the lot with more Contestant Sims still in the game must "sit out" enough sims to make the teams equal in number. To decide this, roll 2 six-sided dice for each sim. The sim/s with the lowest rolls sit out and their relationship scores are NOT counted, either from or for them. In the event of a tie, re-roll until the correct number of sims sit out.

So, for example, if Team 1 has 7 sims, and Team 2 has 5, then Team 1 must sit out 2 sims.

As teams whittle down to a total of 7 sims, you may find that teams are very unbalanced (eg, looking like 5 in one team, 2 in another at merger). If, at Tribal Council, a team is about to have their numbers eliminated so they drop down to fewer than three (ie, 2 members), then they must immediately "choose" a member of the other team to join them. This is done, again, by rolling 2 x d6 for the other team. In this case, the sim with the highest number is to "move out" and then move in with the smaller team. Note: this means there will always be 4 sims from 1 team and 3 from the other at merger.

If any sim is about to die, has heat stroke or illness, they must be one of the ones that sit out.

Team Rewards:

Day 1: The grill (as already described)

Day 3: The team has won fresh "water"!! Give the team a sink, of any kind (custom or not, but not hacked), to a maximum of 5 hygiene.

Using the sink: autonomous only. The sims may use the sink to wash in, or to wash their dishes, etc, but you may not direct them to do this. You may direct them to "drink water" if they have heat stroke.

Day 5: The team has won a feast! Put out and serve the full buffet, leaving it out until it goes green. Then direct one sim to clean it up and put it back into your Host Sim's inventory.

Day 7: Hygiene!! The team has won a shower if they previously got the sink, or "water" (a sink), as for Day 2, if they didn't get it last time. If it is a shower, then only the communal shower may be used (or a "I will shower in public" custom equivalent to a maximum hygiene of 7). If custom, the shower may not be otherwise hacked, of course. Note: no baths. You can choose to put it up against a single "wall" or use the "move objects_on" cheat to hang it out by itself.

Using the shower: autonomous only. Sims may never be directed to use. Use of the sink has already been described.

Day 9: Three "Feel The Breeze" or Swing Away Hammocks (Comfort: 3, Energy: 3). NOT the tent.

Using the hammocks: autonomous. You may not direct a sim to use the hammock, and it's "first come, first sleep". However, you may direct a sim to woohoo, play, etc on a hammock for their single want directive, if you wish (I don't recommend this if you have the "risky woohoo" hack because even with aging off, a pregnant sim will lose motives faster than the others). Keep in mind the rules re fulfilling 2 wants if you do this.

Day 11: A full buffet, as for Day 5.

Day 13: Finally, someone dug a proper hole and brought the loo paper! Give the winning team a toilet. All toilets have Bladder: 10, but you may not choose a toilet with a comfort motive.

Immunity Challenges:

On days 4, 6, 8, 10, 12 & 14, you have immunity challenges and tribal council as described for day 2, running in the same way. From Day 4, however, the immunity idol has to be put away before the challenge. So, at 9.45am, save, pause the game, put the "idol" back in your Host Sim's inventory, cancel whatever your Contestant Sims are doing and direct them to the Challenge area.

Each time, put out the same number of seats as there are sims, and direct the ones who aren't playing to sit.

The physical challenge starts at 10am on each day. As with the rewards challenges, you may have to sit sims out to make sure the teams are even. Use the same process.

Again, to ever break a tie, add up the relationship points, as before, only on the sims who were not sitting out. The team with the highest number had better teamwork, and therefore wins (always take a note of these at the end of the immunity challenge for the first lot you play to avoid having to pop back again, to check).

The Tribal Council is run at 7pm in the same way as on Day 2 once both tribes have run their challenge.

The challenges are as follows:

Day 2: as described above.

Day 4: The Sandcastles Challenge

Direct each Contestant Sim to make sandcastles on the beach.

If the Contestants refuse to build or stop for any reason, you may not redirect them to do so. You may direct them to sit if they do end the challenge.

Continue until all Contestants have stopped (for any reason), or for 3 sim hours, whichever comes first.

Once done, score the results:

For each sim that gets a creativity point:

1 point per sim

For each creativity point:

1 point per skill point

This should vary, as the sims may have autonomously built their own before.

Lose a point for each sim who refused to make a sandcastle.

Day 6: The Handy Dandy Fallover Log Roll Challenge

Put out your 3 Deluxe Log Rolling Pits, and assign random pairs to play, and direct them to. If you have a 7 to 5 ratio, meaning that each team has 5 to play once you've sat the spares out on one team, then one sim waits to go again.

Heat 1: Have the paired sims go against each other until one of each falls. That sim "loses". The odd one out (if any) goes up against the last of the "losers" to fall, to finish heat 1.

Heat 2: If you have 4 sims left, then repeat the process until 2 more have fallen. Then you have a third heat, where the last 2 sims go against each other.

If you have 3 sims left (which would be the case in an odd number), then put 1 on each log and the last to fall wins.

If a sim refuses to play, then they lose by default.

You may not direct a sim to "watch" (but they may do so autonomously).

Direct the last sim standing onto the log again and time them. Make a note of the time it took them to fall. The team whose last sim is up for the longest wins.

Day 8: Shells, Shells, Shells

Direct each sim to "comb for seashells" on the beach. Have them do this for exactly 3 sim hours. The team who find the most items at the end (no matter what they are) wins.

If a sim stops beachcombing, you may not redirect them to search. The exception to this is: you may redirect if they find something (even if it's being bitten by a crab) because they stop otherwise.

Day 10: Axe-olooootely

Set up an Axe-olutely Throwing Station, then roll 2d6 to determine the order in which they throw, lowest roll goes first, highest last. Direct each sim, in turn, to throw axes, until they have thrown 5. Tally up the number of bullseyes. The team with the most wins.

In this instance, you may direct sims who stop back until they total five throws each, but they must go in order (ie, once the next sim starts, the previous sim may not go back if they haven't finished).

This game is based on mechanical skill, not one the contestants are likely to have worked on autonomously, so make sure you take a note of relationships because you may very well end up with a 0-0 tie.

Day 12: [coming soon]

Day 14: Swim For Your Life

Direct each sim into the ocean, let them swim around for 3 sim hours, then tally up body points again exactly as you did for the treadmill challenge on Day 2.

Sims who get out of the ocean of their own accord may not be directed back in.

Body point totals do include those already counted.

And at this Tribal Council, your Host Sim announces... the MERGE is happening!!! Wheeeeee...

[more soon]

Might And Magic VII: For Blood And Honor

2007-05-10T21:07:00.000+10:00

A Story-based walkthrough

History of This Story

Written: December 2002 - May 2003

This story was first written for a message board at EZBoard called "The Lifeline", which was an Age Of Wonders board for socialising, story telling and roleplaying. The story was written partially to lambast some of the regulars there (particularly the ones known as Dark Spider, Caber, Bard Taliesin and Blackmane, as well as Edirr, Frodo, Twoblade and Mikail), and partially just for fun. It was posted at that board but unfortunately was lost when EZboard was hacked. However, it's still on my computer. Go figure. As a result, though, there are a few "in jokes" within the story. Just ignore anything regarding Giant Bees and all will be good. :-)

A knowledge of the game would also make the story a wee bit more entertaining.

It was also posted on a now-defunct Might and Magic VII board and fansite, until the board folded and the owner of the fansite unfortunately died. It is a mini walkthrough, so you can take that as a Spoiler Warning. This story is worksafe. :-)

It's unedited, except for typos (although, gods, I'm itchin'....) Fortunately, my writing has improved in 5 years. I hope. Enjoy, anyway. If you'd like to comment on this story, you can do so below.

There are 18 chapters, all up. I'll post them all as time allows.

Chapter List

Episode One: Three Men and a Lady
Episode Two: Emerald Island – Dragonfly Paradise
Episode Three: Emerald Island – To wit, To win?
Episode Four: The New Lords of Harmondale
Episode Five: Goblins, Goblins Everywhere (added 19 Apr)
Episode Six: Hi–Ho, Hi–Ho, it's to Stone Town We Go
Episode Seven: Hi–Ho, Hi–Ho, Hi–Ho, Hi–Ho, Hi–Ho, Uh, To The King We Go : Coming soon

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Episode Six

2007-04-26T16:47:00.000+10:00

Hi – Ho, Hi – Ho, it's to Stone Town We Go

Friday, March 6, 1168

Darren Temper was rather distressed at the news of his brother Elron's death, naturally, but he nevertheless handed the party some gold and told them to keep the Arcomage deck.

Caber made a Giant Beeline to the Inn to learn how to play the game. He made a nice little pile of gold for them, too, until the other three dragged him out of there for some training with Master Mikail Hadrian the "Greatest". Bard, meanwhile, flexed his merchant skills at the various shops in the town. He didn't do that well, but it was an improvement on previous attempts.

The intrepid adventurers left Basic Principles reasonably early. There was a late frost, and a chilly fog was still hanging over the town.

"Well, I guess we should take Judge Grey's advice, and get over to Stone City," Spider commented.

"I suppose," Caber said glumly.

A balding fellow with interesting – looking eyebrows approached them. "Hello, my lords, my lady," he said carefully, bowing slightly. "I could not help but overhear you. I can help you if you're thinking of going on a trip?"

Bard looked him up and down. "How?"

"First, may I introduce myself? I am Pe-EllArlo the Trader. I know shortcuts, back roads… I can cut your trip to the Downs by 2 days and save you on food, time…"

"How much?" Caber asked.

"I am really a very helpful fellow… I can – "

"How much?" Caber repeated.

"Oh, for just 200 gold pieces - " Pe-EllArlo said.

"That sounds reasonable," Bard said.

"-And 2 percent of any gold you come across while I'm with you."

"Now, hang on – " Caber said, "That's a bit rich."

"We could use the help," Bethgael said. "He can have some of my share."

"Hey, Spider, I picked up a present for you," Bard said, producing a helmet with several horns sticking up off it. "It'll keep you from getting head blows. It's the 'Horned Helm of Luck' so hopefully it will live up to its name and you'll get killed less."

Spider put the helmet on jauntily. Caber burst out laughing. "Oh, that just looks foolish," he roared.

Bard produced an Elven Sabre for Caber. "I picked this up in the White Cliff Caves. You may find it useful."

"Oh, don't be stupid, Bard, nothing beats a – hey… this is actually quite good. Thanks, there, Bard." He put it in his scabbard… it didn't quite drag along the ground, but it came close.

They headed South to the Barrow Downs.

Monday, 6 March, 1168.

The Barrow Downs were obviously haunted. You could tell, Bethgael thought, because there was very little greenery about, the sky was a funny colour, and the trees were bare and scary. Scary trees. She shivered slightly. Of course, the howling, breathy noises gave the whole 'haunted' feel a nice icing.

Bethgael may have been shivering, but she noticed that Caber's face had gone a pasty white colour. She wasn't the only one who noticed.

"What's wrong with you?" Bard asked Caber.

"I hate ghosts," Caber replied. "That's one of the reasons I left this accursed place. I couldn't stand the ghosts."

Bard laughed. "Big, bad Caber is afraid of a few ghosts?"

Caber grimaced. "You don't know the place. Besides, Mister-I-Can't-Stand-Rats, you're hardly one to talk. And the ghosts are worse. Much worse." He paused. "Oh, look – an Inn. I'm thirsty."

"You're always thirsty," Spider quipped.

"Yeah, well, we're running short on food, too, so we'd better pick some up."

The Innkeeper of the Barrow Downs Inn was a stumpy Dwarf who introduced himself as "Irving – but you can call me MetroGnome." He handed over some food, at a highly inflated price. "Stone Soup, good stuff."

"Criminal," Bard muttered. "Hey, what's Caber doing?"

Caber was sitting at a table, engrossed in his Arcomage cards. He had a nice pile of gold in front of him. Bethgael wandered over to the table. "We have to go, now, Cabie."

Caber didn't look up from his cards. "What are you, my wife?"

Bethgael squinted at his cards. "So," she said innocently, "what does it mean when you have one of those red cards and one of those blue cards that says 'tower plus twenty' on it?"

The other dwarfs at the table threw down their cards in disgust. Caber muttered sourly.

"Can we go, now?" Bethgael said firmly.

Caber pocketed his gold. "You're a spoilsport," he accused. "I was going to win, you know."

"You can play games later," Spider said. "We have some more important things to do."

"He's just trying to avoid the ghosts," Bard said.

"Damn straight I am," Caber replied, grabbing the rest of his ale and downing it in one go. He belched noisily. "Just fortifying myself. You know, one of the fellows here says that the Red Dwarf Mines in Bracada are infested with medusas. That is going to have a devastating blow on our economy if it is true."

"I wasn't even aware that you even knew words like 'devastated' and 'economy'," Bard commented mildly.

Caber belched again. "Yeah, course I do. What do you think I am, stupid?"

Bethgael grinned. "Well, you do have an Intellect of 9, you know."

Caber looked at her blankly.

"Uh, never mind," she said.

They went out the door and walked straight into a Shade. Caber killed it, and they headed towards Stone City. It helped having a dwarf who knew where to go, Bethgael thought. Then, suddenly, she felt terrified. Inexplicably terrified. She saw two Shades and a pink Specter coming towards them. She screamed, mostly because she had to, but partly to stop her teeth from chattering.

Spider jumped. "What's wrong with her?"

"Specters can make you Frightened, even if you wouldn't normally be," Caber replied. He thumped one of the ghosts, looking bolstered by Bethgael's terror. He stood in front of her protectively, thrusting with the sword and killing the Shade. Spider shot his bow at a second Shade and killed it. The Specter floated to them quickly, and Bethgael, despite her fear, swung her axe at it, glancing it. Spider then whacked it with his staff, and Caber stabbed it with his sword. Pe-EllAthor started to run around in circles, screaming, which didn't help a great deal.

"Die, damn you!" Bard yelled as he ripped at the Specter with his dagger. "And shut – up, Pe-Ell!" The Specter clawed at Spider, who hit it with his staff. The Specter floated backwards and Bethgael grabbed her bow, shooting it down.

They ran towards the bridge they could see ahead of them. Another Specter came up behind them, and Bethgael missed with her bow from trembling in fear. Bard cast Bless on her.

Bethgael felt better for it and was able to swallow her bile long enough to make a decent shot at the Specter. The Specter seemed to sense Spider's power and clawed at him. Spider screamed. "What's wrong?" Bethgael yelled at him as Bard hit the Specter.

"It's drained some life from me," Spider replied weakly.

"Run!" Caber yelled. "This way!" They ran across the bridge and up a hill, with Shades and Specters coming at them from every side.

"Oh, no, they're at the bridge," Bard whispered through gritted teeth.

They ran towards another bridge – a suspension one this time – where awaited more of the eerie beings.

"We should just run through them," Caber yelled. Bard didn't move. "Come on, Bard, what's with you?"

"I think he's got what I have," Bethgael said through gritted teeth, trying to keep her terror under control – without a great deal of success. She wanted to curl up in a ball and lie on the ground screaming. Normally, she would have felt ashamed at this, but at that point, she was just too frightened to care.

Spider grabbed Bard by the arm and shook him. Bard just stood, transfixed, watching the Shades come towards them. Then, he seemed to shake off his fear slightly and they ran across the suspension bridge… to another suspension bridge, with Caber swatting the Shades as they ran. Then they were surrounded. Shades were coming up through the bridge from under them. Bethgael started to feel like she was losing hope as they batted at the Shades in front of them.

In his fear, Bard was stabbing wildly with his dagger. Fortunately, he was hitting them, and between them, the Shades on the bridge in front of them went down, dropping into the water far below them.

"There's Stone City!" Caber yelled, and they ran towards it. It was a fortress plopped squatly on top of the hill. They bashed on the heavy iron and wood doors and the doors opened.

"What do you think we'll find?" Bethgael asked.

"Friends, I hope," Spider said. "Uh, Pe-EllAthor, you can stop yelling now."

"Sorry."

Caber straightened his armour. "Maybe I should visit my mother," he said.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Back: to Episode Four
Next: to Episode Seven - Hi – Ho, Hi – Ho, Hi – Ho, Hi – Ho, Hi – Ho, Uh, To The King We Go : Coming soon

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Tips and Tricks

2007-04-19T17:49:00.000+10:00

Feel free to add your own ideas in the comments section below.

Use invisible items and move_objects on: find most invisible items by doing a search for "pfish" at MTS2 and SxS2
Multilayer plants using move_objects on to make for a more lush outdoor look.
Use ceiling tiles.

Turn Free Will back on every so often just to see what they'll do. You get some great cameo shots that way.
Spend time learning which animations are which. Better still, write them down as you go, what they're useful for. Sometimes it's not obvious (eg, I used the animation "primal scream" in Hula and More to get Markas to hold a sword in a certain way to get Seth off the plank in CTF1).
Have a lot of patience when it comes to positioning sims in ways they weren't, strictly speaking, designed for. You can't actually throw sims across the room and throwing your computer instead is counterproductive. Use your imagination to work around the foibles of the game.
When Sims get too close to an object or each other, they can end up in some interesting positions. You may need to move them a millimetre at a time. Make sure you put them down occasionally so you can use the "undo" button to get them back if necessary. You may need to move one sim a teeny bit, then the other, then back to sim A, etc., especially if you're trying to get them in positions they weren't designed for.
Use regular items, too, such as chairs, baths, the loo, pool tables, etc., to position sims. SlowMotion set to 6 or 7 and good timing can net excellent results.
Have extra sims on the set so you can use interactive animations differently. Example: I don't use the Insimenator or the Inteenimator, so I can't have an adult and teen sim interact romantically. As a result, to get some of the early scenes between Markas and Iasabeau to photograph properly, I needed an extra sim on lot for Markas to "hug romantically" so he'd hold Isabeau the way I needed him to when I moved him.

That about covers this section. The next section is on Sim Photography.

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Building Sets

2007-04-19T17:41:00.000+10:00

What you do with sets are also a matter of preference. You don't have to build full houses or areas for each scene. You don't have to use a Community Lot to make a shop or hotel for a sim story. You don't even have to use four walls.

Often, I do, but that's because I like using different angles and I enjoy building, and I come from the Peter Jackson School of Lord of the Rings Detail: giving the impression of a world beyond a screen or book. I do this for my fantasy world stories (in my world building for RL fantasy books as well), simply because it helps me write the story.

Here is an example of where I've gone the whole hog and used a full set, for A Continent Too Far I and II. This tavern, despite being a business, is built on a residential lot. This means I don't have to worry about townies.

The reason for building a full set in this case is twofold. Firstly, I expected to be doing a lot of photography here, from all angles. Secondly, I want to use this lot later as a community lot. It is not as detailed as House Elsweyr, where I did actually build a secret tunnel just to see if it could be done, but it's also simpler because I wanted to make sure that "Freehaven" had a different "feel" to it than The fae forests.

Here is my forest set, as it currently stands:

This set has been changed around often, and the left-hand set has been used and re-dressed, so far, for Isabeau's flight after the bandit attack (with autumn trees); the goblin play shots; the fairies, both background and foliage; her vision quest; the hunt with the centaurs and all of the Bad Guy shots so far. All that I've done is changed the mood each time: autumn trees and leaves for the flight, fantasy props for the goblins and the jacaranda trees for the centaurs.

The classroom I've used for this tutorial is a non-functional set. You'll see the hacks off to one side, along with things like loos and fridges because it's sometimes quicker and easier to just satisfy sim wants than use a hack to do it.

I like to use ceiling tiles. This means you can open up more options for photography, notably close-ups angle upwards, without seeing the second floor floating above your sims' heads. The difference between this:

and this:

is obvious.

You can make sets without any custom content at all. In fact, my tavern set has all Maxis walls and only a few pieces of custom content (notably the horse, the barn door and window and the sign, as well as the neighbourhood objects from Retail Sims).

Also, if you are leery of custom content, or your machine won't run a lot of it, there is nothing stopping you from making your own recolours. Try Mod The Sims 2 for tutorials on using Body Shop (packaged with The Sims 2) to make your own clothes.

Basic recolouring is not actually very difficult: the unicorn shirt I am now wearing -- from a painting by Anne Sudworth -- is the first ever recolour I did.

Note: if you have Pets, and intend on sharing your content, make sure you have patched your game using the official patch from thesims2.ea.com Otherwise, your content will not show up properly for anyone who doesn't have the Pets EP.

Another thing to consider is your background, behind your buildings and sets. For the tavern, I have placed it in a town, so have put neighbourhood buildings around them, but it is worthwhile using your neighbourhood objects to their maximum advantage to help set a mood.

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Story Hacks

2007-04-19T17:20:00.000+10:00

This is not an exhaustive list at all, but is a list of hacks I use, as well as a few I know of but I don't use. A couple are invaluable to me (especially Perfect Plants).

Global Mods:

CEP by Numenor is required to use most custom objects.

No zzz's while sleeping: a new mod from Numenor. I used to have to put my sims to bed in one spot, then pause and move the bed with sleeping sims to where I wanted it, away from the zz's. This didn't always work, so judicious use of PSP's Clone Brush tool was sometimes necessary. No more. Yay for Numenor. :)
No visuals effects for stereos: Numenor. Removes the musical notes.
No stars when slapped: by Numenor.
See Them Patch: by Dave Luv removes the censor blur, and you can also permanently turn on the testingCheats menus, placement out of the lot, and diagonal placement.
Perfect Plants: by twojeffs at Inteenimator stops your plants from dying, meaning you can multilayer plants and make more realistic gardens without having to worry about their upkeep.
Pregnancy Wear Any Outfit: by Squinge

In-game Buyable Hacked Items

Talk Overlay: standing, by decorgal at MTS2
Talk Overlay: sitting, by decorgal at MTS2 animations while sitting in a chair.
Idle Animations by Jixs at MTS2
Dance Animation by Jixs at MTS2

Hula and More by Squinge a hack that allows for all sorts of animations, bringing up a menu on the sim.
Prop Attachment by Jixs at MTS2 sims can hold all sorts of props from a gun to a mug of coffee.
Sims Boutique Clothing Hack by christianlov at MTS2 and the Coat Rack by Marylou and Numenor at MTS2 buy clothes and change your appearance on the lot -- acts as a wardrobe, mirror, plastic surgery unit and shop.

Simlogical Teleporter: this item would be redundant with the Tombstone of L&D on the lot, but for one feature I love: "Clear All Visitors". I no longer have to dread the "Some visitors have arrived to welcome you to the neighbourhood!" notice. You can also use this hack to bring a neighbour over without actually adding them to the family.

Weather Atmosphere (w/o Seasons) by chris997 at MTS2
Family Ghost by Eric at Insim
Teleport/Move In Pets by christianlov at MTS2 does what the Tombstone of L&D won't -- move in pets from another lot.

Specialist Items with Custom Animations

Both of these items are available at Sexy Sims 2. This is an adult site, you must be 18 years or over to register or download.

Lovebed by Shaklin - not just for lurve of all kinds, but useful for making dead people, too.
McNutty's Shower by Hunter - Hunter is a genius. A genius, I tell you. That is all.

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TestingCheatsEnabled

2007-04-19T16:56:00.000+10:00

Right, TCE has a whole plethora of uses, and explaining them all requires a guide in and of itself, but be aware: it can seriously muck up your game. Always, always, always turn the damn thing off once you've done what you need, and try to use hacks to, for example, change clothes rather than trying to run this in "true" state while you play (or if you prefer to go hack free, be prepared to turn it on and off as required).

I cannot stress this enough. If you run this cheat in the background, you will get errors, sometimes unfixable ones that require deletion of entire lots, and whether this will happen seems to be quite random. Some people never have a problem, but I wouldn't bet the farm on it. So, save your lot before using the cheat, K?

To turn on the cheat, open the cheat dialogue box and type in:

boolprop testingCheatsEnabled true

To turn it off again, type:

boolprop testingCheatsEnabled false

Now, there is a way you can have this on permanently, so you can use the "allmenus on" cheat. I have not, however, found this useful, and I'd never save a game with it perma turned on. I'll explain allmenus on next.

Now, how does this cheat help for storytellers?

First of all, you can change clothes on a sim without a wardrobe. But, again, this requires turning the cheat on and off. Use motherlode and buy one, or use the Sims Boutique or Clothing Rack hack.

You can also change the fitness of your sim, to "fit" or "fat" (but not to "normal"). And many other things:

However, there are some items that are very helpful for storytellers.

Once you have turned on the cheat, click on a Sim while holding down shift. You will see the option "Spawn..." come up, then you can select one, or all of the following items.

There are three items that are the most useful, and I use the first two all of the time. I don't use the third, but only because I've grown used to the story hacks I have.

The Tombstone of L & D

This handy-dandy tombstone is not called "Life and Death" for nothing.

The most useful use of it for story purposes is the "Add neighbour to family" function, which allows you an unlimited number of Sims on a lot, as well as the option to add NPCs (including the "impossibles", like Santa Claus, the Social Worker, the Social Bunny and the Repo Man). Hint: it will not bring up pets as an option, so make pets on the lot and add people, or use cristianlov's Pet Teleporter.

I find it invaluable to move sims within families and lots without having to go through the rigamarole of moving them out. It's also good for creating "extras" -- I use townies I don't like, dress 'em up as required, and then delete them when I'm done.

You can also use it for adding new people of specific ages to your lot, getting your sim pregnant, aging babies properly and changing relationships. Handy little thingy.

The Sim Modder

This little item is used for adjusting motives, relationships, aspiration and other stuff, as shown here:

It is much easier to use the maxmotives and motiveDecay off cheats and adjust a motive down than it is to keep a "Free Will off" sim happy.

Paul's Reaction Tester

This item allows you to do animation loops without needing to download any hacks:

Once you have spawned one or all of these items, turn TestingCheatsEnabled off. The items are safe to use and keep on your lot after you've done this.

Note: if you don't know what an item in the TCE does, don't spawn it. Find out first. There are guides available. Google is your friend.

CAS Debug Mode

There is one more useful function of the TCE cheat: the debug mode for CAS. What this does is unlock extra wardrobe options (including NPC clothing) in the CAS screen. To use the debug mode:

In neighbourhood view, open the cheat dialogue box, and enter:

boolprop testingCheatsEnabled true

Then go to CAS.

In the CAS screen, hit the Shift and N keys.
Turn off debug mode by hitting Shift and M.

Note that you will need to get rid of your N's and M's in the name box:

Then turn off TCE in neighbourhood view, again, by entering

boolprop testingCheatsEnabled false

Debug turns on clothing information:

Makes NPC and extra clothing and hairstyles available:

And also allows me to find a cutsy outfit for, uh... never mind:

allmenus on

This is the "secret" hidden TestingCheatsEnabled function. You cannot get it by entering TCE, but must change the Config file to turn TCE on permanently.

Edit: NB, once I installed the Seasons EP, this function ceased to work for me. At all. I have not been able to find out why.

Do not use this at all if you do not have a basic understanding of how to backup your game files. Then back up your game files. I do not recommend constant use of this function. I use it very occasionally, and with the other available hacks it is not all that useful. Seriously, you'll risk your game less using the hacks.

To turn it on:

You need to change your GlobalProps file while your game is not running.

To find it, go to Program Files\EA\TS2\YourCurrentEP\TSData\Res\Config

Replace "YourCurrentEP" with whatever your most recently installed EP is (the same one as the game disk you use to start your game). In my case, that'd be "Pets".

Find the GlobalProps.xml file. BACK IT UP TO A SAFE PLACE(I copy it onto my desktop).

Then, open the original file using Notepad.

You will see a lot of property strings. Insert into the second line exactly the following (NB: the 0's are zeroes), replacing the {'s with >'s:

{AnyBooleanKey="testingCheatsEnabled" type="0xba908e1"}true{/AnyBoolean}

Then save the file and close it.

Start your game, then open the cheat box, and type allmenus on

You will see all of the menus for items and sims come up. Note: many will still not work, eg, you still cannot get a teen to "make out" with an adult, even though the option is there, and non YA's will not get "meditate".

When you have finished your session, revert to your backup GlobalProps file by overwriting the changed file with the backup.

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In-Game Cheats

2007-04-19T16:47:00.000+10:00

To open the cheat window, hit the following keys together: Control (ctrl), Shift and C. To make the cheats work, type the following cheats into the dialogue bar, then hit the return key. If you get it wrong (make a typo, for example), you'll end up with an expanded window similar to the one pictured above. Just retype the cheat and hit Enter.

Oops! The box hasn't gone this time. That's okay, to exit, hit the esc key.

If you get the cheat right the first time, the dialogue box will exit and the cheat will activate.

If you want to see a full list of cheats available for your game version, type "help" into the dialogue box.

Sim Care cheats:

I call these Sim Care cheats because if you have turned off free will, then they obviously can't look after themselves. So, unless you want to spend time focusing on sim needs rather than photography, use the motive cheats.

But what, I hear you ask, if you want to set a motive at, say, half, to use a shower or bed? Well, more about that later: it's easier to power down one motive than keep them all up.

aging on/off (default is on) This prevents aging. You will need to turn aging back on if you want a pregnant sim to progress, or give birth (although you can make it happen using the Sim Modder or Tombstone of L&D). Base Game

maxmotives All motives to 100% EPs: Nightlife and later

MotiveDecay on/off (default is on) Stops motives from decreasing. EPs: Nightlife and above

Other cheats:

move_objects on/off (default is off) Allows you to place objects where they wouldn't otherwise be allowed (like paintings or a toilet off a wall, or tiles on the road), and to move sims in build mode. It also allows you to place multiple objects in a square (such as plants). Base Game

motherlode Adds 50,000 simoleans to the lot. NB "kaching" adds a thousand, but there's no real point doing that. Base Game

plumbbobtoggle on/off (default is on) Use it to turn off the plumb bob EPs: OFB and above
An alternative hack by Daveluv is available here.

showheadlines on/off (default is on) Gets rid of thought and speech bubbles. Will not turn off zzz's when sleeping, or music above the stereo, or similar thoughts. EPs: Nightlife and above

SetHour [0 - 23] with 0 being midnight and 23 being 11pm Handy if it's 9am on Monday and you don't feel like waiting until 1900 to do some night photography. EPs: OFB and above

slowMotion [0 - 8] with 8 being the slowest. Animations sometimes go too quickly to pause the game at the exact moment. Slow those sims down a bit using a speed of 6 or 7. Base Game

FamilyFunds [familyname][+ or - amount] Used in neighbourhood mode to add or subtract a certain amount of simoleans to a family. EPs: Nightlife and above

Boolprop Cheats

"Boolprop" stands for "Boolean Property".

NB: The "testingCheatsEnabled" cheat is often called the "boolprop" cheat, but it isn't. It is actually called (say with me) "testingCheatsEnabled". I will leave this cheat until last because it's known to muck up your game so deserves a little section all of its own.

There are other boolprop cheats as well. The useful ones for Sim direction are below. Type the following into your cheat dialogue box:

boolprop allow45DegreeAngleOfRotation true/false (default is false) allows you to place objects on a diagonal. Once the cheat is activated, use your >. and <, keys to rotate the objects. EPs: Uni and above

boolprop snapObjectsToGrid true/false (default is true) Allows you to place objects at will without them "snapping" to a square. NB: a pain in the arse when placing pictures, or anything else, on walls. I turn the cheat to "true" when putting in windows and pictures, then back to "false" if I have to move them. Base Game

Pets only:

boolprop ControlPets on/off (default is off)

boolprop PetsFreeWill true/false (default is true). NOTE: This doesn't over-ride the "off" Free Will setting in the lot options, ie, if you've turned that off, then you cannot selectively turn Pet Free Will back on.

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Story Hacks and In-Game Cheats

2007-04-19T16:40:00.000+10:00

There are many hacks that will make photographing and direction a lot easier. I use a lot of them. In some cases, the use of a boolprop cheat makes the hack redundant, but I've found I prefer the hack in some cases. However, I will cover the use of those that I'm aware of, so that people who'd rather not install custom content or hacks can still use some of the advantages.

However, first of all, I will cover the in-game cheats that are extremely helpful for direction, as well as photography. For ease of writing, I will just throw all of them together, and you can refer back to them when you're reading the photography section.

Note: I have all of the Expansion Packs to Pets, and Glamour Life and Family Fun stuff packs, so I haven't included any cheats that may have come with Seasons or Celebrations at this time. I have also just included cheats useful for photography and storytelling, not for building. So, this is not an exhaustive cheat list. As per the comments section, I have now listed which cheat came with each EP, so far as I know.

Feel free to make further suggestions in the comments section if I've missed any.

Options

The first game tool available within the game is "Free Will" within the individual lot options screen. I turn it off. End of actor problems.

You can also turn off the events camera so you can photograph first kisses, dates, abductions, woo-hoos, etc.

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Using Custom Content

2007-04-19T16:21:00.000+10:00

The use of custom content is not essential to either good photos or a good story. A good story can stand on its own. But if you do want to use custom content, there's plenty available. This section covers what's available.

A Note on Pay Content: There is never any good excuse for any site to charge money for Sims 2 custom content, and it ill behoves players to support sites that indulge in this technically illegal practice. The making of Sims 2 custom content relies upon tools and content that is provided with the Sims 2 game, along with an End User License Agreement that we all electronically sign upon installation agreeing that we will not charge money for any content made with these tools -- and it is impossible to make the content without them.

On top of that, some very talented people within the Sims 2 community have provided, for free, tools to make the content, such as Quaxis's SimPE, CEP by Numenor and Wes_h's Unimesh for Milkshape.

It is arrogance in the extreme, as well as shaky legal ground, for any content maker to charge for content they've made using using these free tools.

For further information, visit modthesims2.com, this thread at the Sims 2 Community and Paysites Must Be Destroyed.

Note, here, that I'm not talking about donating to free sites if they have a bandwidth drive or similar -- and by this, I am not talking about sites who ask for "donations" for content that is not available should you not donate. This is, simply speaking, charging for content and calling it something else.

This also applies to "subscription" sites such as The Sims Resource. There is no excuse at all for TSR to charge for content, especially when you consider the other two largest community sites, Mod The Sims 2 and Insimenator (along with their adjunct adult sites), don't charge the end user a single red cent for any downloads. As Delphy from MTS2 says, there is simply no need to, not with today's site rates, and anyone who still honestly charges for "donation items" to "cover the costs of bandwidth" needs to look into better hosting.

Add to that the fact that TSR doesn't allow creators to delete, or set policies on, their own content, and you have what I would term some shady policies.

I am not saying, by the way, not to utilise the free items that paysites offer, at all. Many of these creators are very talented, and in an ideal world, they would switch their content to free (as they agreed to when they ticked the "I agree" box when they installed the game) and just ask for help with bandwidth if they need it. There is plenty out there.

And, really, with sites like Insim and MTS2 out there, if bandwidth is really an issue, why not save the money on the dot com, donate it to one of these sites instead, and just upload your content there?

Also, I believe that some paysite owners aren't aware that what they are doing isn't really kosher, simply because it's been so common, but it's also tempting to suggest that some paysite owners are actually trying to find a cash cow.

Talent or hard work isn't at issue here, by the way, but let's face it, for every bit of pay or "donation" content that asks you to fork out money for it, there are two or three similar free pieces on the web, notably at sites such as parsimonious.org, modthesims2.com, insimenator.net and similar sites. And, they are usually of much better quality. And many (if not most) paysites do not have a refunds policy if their content doesn't work. So, if a hair file has a gappy neck or breaks your game, or looks nothing like the highly photoshopped picture that advertised it *cough*Peggy*cough*, well, you've done your dough.

If you have $5 available for one piece of pay content, then why not put that towards these free sites instead and download to your heart's content?

So, if you've been paying for content thus far, unaware that sites shouldn't be charging for it, be aware that you don't have to. Don't buy anything. Check out the linked sites above first.

If, fully informed, you still choose to buy content, that's your prerogative. But, at least you're doing it with your eyes open now, if you weren't before. Mea culpa.

I am happy to give further information on this, but I won't debate the issue here. As I've mentioned, I work in the arts industry, and have a working knowledge of copyright and patents law as it pertains to different creative works in Australia, the US and Europe, including TS2's EULA. Feel free to take my word for it.

It should also be noted that, as a regular player within other gaming communities, I was staggered to find out that so many sites got away with his for so long (I could not imagine trying to charge for Age of Wonders or Neverwinter Nights content. Good grief, you'd be laughed out of the community!), and also amazed at how long this issue was stringently censored for (it still is at the official site).

Fortunately, the tide has turned and people who are against paysites now rightly outnumber those for them, and censorship is less of an issue.

Edit: And EA Games have now come out against pay sites and for the free sharing of pay files:

http://noukiesims2.net/filevaultantipaysite.htm

There is now no excuse, at all, to pay for any files.

Please, link this page for others.

Right, now that I've had my say on this issue, let's have a look at what's available for the story teller.

There is a wiki-like list list for Custom Content, here, kept by the MTS2 staff.

I use CC from all over the joint, but my favourite sites are:

Mod The Sims 2, and its adult counterpart, Sexy Sims2 (you must be 18 years or over to register and download from the adult site).

Parsimonious

Tarox Sims

Insimenator

I have never had problems with content downloaded from any of the above sites, thus far.

Specifically Helpful Content

Ceiling Tiles - by jgwhiteus at MTS2
Plants - check the sims 2 wiki
Delphy's Download Organiser

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Sim Direction

2007-04-19T16:11:00.000+10:00

Those pesky sim actors! They never do what you want when you want them to, do they? They always want to go to the toilet when you want them to act, complain about their needs and wants and have an annoying habit of falling in love with their co-stars. As in, all of their co-stars, which leads, of course, to jealousy and slapping at the most inconvenient moment.

And how do you get them to smile on cue?

One of the talented writers on a website I frequent even had her sim catch on fire at a crucial moment. Fortunately, all was well.

And then there are the visitors, popping by at all hours of the day and night. Sheesh.

And the building. And the costumes. Honestly, it's enough to make someone want to throw their stories on a blog instead.

No, wait...

This section covers some of the story hacks and cheats you can use, as well as good places to pick up some custom content.

However, what if you're just wanting to document a Sim Legacy, and don't want to be arsed with all of the modcons (and in the case of legacies and challenges, can't use hacks and cheats)? Cool. Make the story entertaining and take the best pics you can. Often the headlines and unexpected sim movements make for a better story.

For a good example of a Legacy story with no hacks or cracks, have a look at esiobhan on the Exchange. Her stories are always amusing.

In my case, when I'm writing a non-legacy story, I tend not to use the game for playing, just for the story--it's an Isabeau Valenwood zone at the moment, and I still haven't played Pets properly!

The reason for this is that my downloads folder is generally stuffed full (I have around 9 - 10,000 custom content files at any one time) and I have a lot of hacks that I do not use during general game play.

Some of the custom files I wouldn't use in normal play (eg, mermaid skins), so I keep another file folder to swap those out of when I'm done with the stories.

Feel free to use any of this information if it is useful to you, or none. It's up to you.

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Episode Five

2007-04-19T09:13:00.000+10:00

Goblins, Goblins, Everywhere...

Tuesday, February 16, 1168.

Bethgael enjoyed training at the small Harmondale Training Ground. The smallish, hairy but hardy man by the name of Mikail Hadrian the Instructor took them through their paces, one by one. Bethgael emerged sore but refreshed.

It seemed she wasn't the only one. "You know those goblins infesting the area around the town?" Bard said jovially. "Let's get 'em."

"Ah…. ooookaaaay then," Caber replied, shooting Spider and Bethgael a look. Bethgael arched her eyebrow.

Spider just shook his head. "Druidical violence just doesn't 'fit', somehow," he said. "It's just so…. oxymoronic."

"It's moronic, all right," Caber agreed.

"No, not moronic…. oxy – ah. Never mind," Spider shook his head again.

Bard just laughed.

The trees were bare, reaching up into the dreary sky with their spidery naked limbs. Bethgael shivered as the fog wormed its way into her clothing and seeped into her joints. She shook her shoulders as they walked out through the stone archway that stood at the entrance of Harmondale.

"There they are," Caber said quietly.

Bethgael unlimbered her bow.

It was a rip-roaring fight. Things were going very well, until the party noticed a fort in the middle of the area. There were a few soldiers from the Town Guard fighting the goblins in the area, but most of them were dead. Except one valiant fellow.

Caber squinted. "Hey, I think we know him."

Bethgael took a look. "Yeah…he seems vaguely familiar…"

"It's that Blackmane fellow," Bard said. "I wonder when he got here?"

"He's popping up in the oddest places," Spider commented. He raised his voice. "Hey, Blackmane, what are you doing here?"

"Fighting goblins," was the laconic reply. "Duh."

"You did sort of walk into that one," Caber said, ducking hastily as a goblin cutlass came flying at his head.

They reached the fort, killing the occupants quickly. There were no goblins to be seen, anywhere.

Then Bethgael noticed an interesting-looking little trap-door thingy in the centre of the fort. "Hey, I wonder what this is?"

Caber opened it. "Hmmm… treasure…."

"Uh guys," Bard tapped Bethgael on the shoulder. "We have company…"

Bethgael looked up and saw goblins coming at the fort from all four sides.

"Get to the guns!" Spider yelled.

They ran to the nearest cannon, which fired some lovely fireworks in a very deadly fashion. Goblins fell. Thickly. Bethgael could see them coming from the other side, so they ran to another gun and pressed the button.

Suddenly, everything went dark.

##

Bethgael moaned as she awoke: her head was splitting. A Healer was muttering incantations over a very still Bard. Her eyes focussed and she saw an anxious Caber hovering over her head.

"What happened?"

"The stupid gun exploded in our faces. It left Bard and Spider Mostly Dead and you unconscious. It was left to me to valiantly drag your carcases back here to get you fixed up. How are you feeling?"

"I could use a beer."

"You don't drink."

"Well, I could still use one. I'd give it to you." Bethgael smiled weakly. "Good job getting us out of there, Caber."
Caber shrugged. "I do my best."

The Healer came over to Bethgael and waved his hands over her head. Or something like that, she couldn't tell. Her head cleared instantly.

"Care to Donate to the Church?" the Healer asked.

"I think we've paid enough for your services right now," Caber muttered.

Bard and Spider joined them.

"You two are looking good for a pair who have been Mostly Dead all morning," Bethgael quipped, surreptitiously handing the Healer a few gold pieces. He bowed and walked away. "Creepy sort of fellow," she commented.

Spider rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't like being blown up much. Death is an – interesting – experience."

Bard shrugged. "I'm sort of getting used to it."

"Well, let's go and finish the job. The day's a-wasting," Caber said cheerfully.

They continued fighting goblins until dusk. Then they fought some more, as the full moon icily reared its head over the horizon. Then, just for fun, they kept killing goblins until they couldn't find any more. Behind a hill, and through a Canyon, past the White Cliff Caves, they saw a cottage.

"What's that?" Bethgael asked as she collected some arrows that had missed their marks.

"It looks like a Cottage," Bard said.

"I know that, Bard. I mean: I wonder who lives there?"

"Let's go knock on the door and find out."

So they did.

An elderly man answered the door dressed in a robe, rubbing his eyes and yawning. "Do you have any idea what time it is?" he asked them acerbically. "It's 1.30 in the morning, that's what it is."

Bard looked shamefaced. "So. I guess it's actually…"

Wednesday, 17 February, 1168

"Oh. We're sorry to bother you, sir," Bethgael said. "We were fighting goblins and lost track of time."

"We're the new Lords of Harmondale, you see," Caber said. "We thought we should introduce ourselves."

"Ah, I see," the old man said scratchily. "I'm Judge Grey. You can come to me at any time for advice, information, whatever. But for now, I really think you need to go and see the Dwarf King at Stone City and get your castle cleaned up. No-one is going to take you seriously if you live in a mess like that. Bye."

He shut the door.

"Thankyou for getting rid of the goblins around my house," Caber muttered. "Sure, no problem. Anytime. We enjoy it. Hmph."

"We'd better go and do what he says, I suppose," Bard said.

"Were those the White Cliff caves we saw on the way here?" Bethgael asked.

"I think so," Spider said.

"Let's go and see what happened to Darren Temper's brother, then, while we're here."

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" Spider asked.

"Yeah, 1.30," she replied. "Or a little later. I'm not that tired, for some reason. Must have been the healing today. Yesterday. whatever."

"C'mon. It'll be fun," Caber added.

"Once again, I am left to question your definition of the word 'fun'," Bard said.

Caber grinned wolfishly.

The caves were dark – probably something to be expected when you considered it was the middle of the night. Spider muttered an incantation and there was light.

"What the –" Bard had enough time to say before two lumbering, hard-shelled things came rushing at them. Unattractive and a sickly green, they unleashed their teeth as they attacked.

"Troglodytes," Bethgael grunted, swinging her axe. It bit, barely. "Tough-skinned suckers. They come in three types – "

"Give us the biology lesson later, will you?" Caber said.

"Sure thing."

They dispatched the troglodytes as they went through the caves, searching for any sign of Temper's brother Elron. Then they heard a sucking sort of squelching sound and saw troglodytes running away from something.

"That can't be good," Bard said.

Then a wet sort of oozy thing came at them. Caber swung his sword, but it just slid right through the – Ooze - without harming it. Bethgael noticed it etched the blade. Spider threw a lightning bolt at it, which made it pause, and they did the only heroic thing – they ran. The ooze couldn't keep up, fortunately. They snuck past a few more Oozes who were in the process of attacking Troglodytes and left them to it.

At the end of a cavern, there was a pile of bones and a deck of cards. Caber bent and picked it up.

"I suppose we need to go and tell Darren Temper his brother is dead," he said.

~*~*~*

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Tense and Viewpoint

2007-04-07T02:51:00.000+10:00

Tense and author viewpoint are inter-related so I'll address them at the same time. Now, it should be noted that even published authors screw this up, and whole books can be written on the subject, so this is not exhaustive.

Tense.

Tense means time. Past, present and future. "I am" is present tense. "I was" is past tense. "I will be" is future tense. Most people write in the first and second, unless they're very brave, exceedingly stupid, extremely good, or being a literary snob.

Now, author viewpoint.

Author Viewpoint means who's talking. "I am" is first person. "You are" is second person. "He is" is third person.

Most people write in first or third person.

The most common usage of the written word currently is first or third person, past tense.

It doesn't really matter which you choose. Just make sure you are consistent with it.

Character Viewpoint

Just to make matters a bit on the confusing side, the same word (viewpoint) is used for which character's head you are in when you are writing. It can also be called "point of view". So, if you see VP or POV, this is what is being referred to.

When you are in a character's VP, or close VP, you are only seeing what happens as the character sees it. You must use character VP if you write in first person, and may do so when in third. Close third person will affect the voice, and style, of the prose. What it forces the author to do is to take on the voice of the character, and butt out. This is fun, because you get to know your characters, and you can see if they're truly coming alive.

When you are in author, or omniscient VP, then you see everything. You must write in third person to use this VP.

Author VP is most often used accidentally by amateurs, but it is also used effectively by professionals, and was almost always used in past novels. Dickens is omniscient. So is Tolkien. However, it is a distant VP that can make it hard for a reader to get to know a character. It can also be a by-product of an author who is a control freak and needs to talk louder than their characters.

Omniscient, especially when badly done, can also lead to what I call "head hopping." There is nothing wrong with changing character VP, but every time you do the reader has to adjust their own head and they can be thrown out of the story. So obviously, the less you do this, the better it is for the reader. Even in omniscient VP, refrain from changing from one character's VP to another in the same paragraph or sentence, eg:

"Do you have to do that?" he asked, annoyed. She drove him nuts. If it weren't for the fact she was smokin' hot, he wouldn't put up with her at all.

She glowered, hating his attitude.

In the first para, we're in his VP. In the second, we're in hers.

Rewriting the above para in her VP only:

"Do you have to do that?" he demanded.

He looked annoyed, she thought. Obviously, she was driving him nuts. Frankly, his attitude gave her the irrates. If she bothered him so much, why did he hang around?

And, just for fun, back in his VP:

"Do you have to do that?" he asked, annoyed. She drove him nuts. If it weren't for the fact she was smokin' hot, he wouldn't put up with her at all.

And there she was, giving him a filthy look, again. What the hell was her problem?

You can see, the proper use of VP gives the writer a better use of conflict and misunderstanding, always a Good Thing for stories.

To put it another way, Omniscient is watching everything that happens from the outside, facing the character, while close first or third gets you right inside the character's head.

In the Reno's Story sample earlier, I've written in third person, past tense, close character VP (Reno's). At no time have I popped into Cloud's head, and at no time have I used authorial interjection to explain what's going on with him: I only have Reno's take on what Cloud is doing, saying and thinking, which may or may not be wrong.

In close personal third person VP, Reno can't know, at that point in the story, what happened to Aerith (what Cloud sees as his Big Mistake), even if I do. Reno sure can see Cloud's pain though, setting up conflicts between the characters, as well as intrigue in the reader's mind (anyone who doesn't know the story would be left to wonder, as Reno is, what mistake Cloud made, and can find out later with Reno).

If you use omniscient VP, there's nothing left for the reader to find out because you're already telling them everything. So, why would they read on?

Swearing

This is a matter of stylistic choice, and anyone who reads my work will know that I am not averse to it. However, the use of constant swearing actually weakens your work rather than the other way around. It simply shows that the writer lacks in vocabulary and imagination. It can become a lazy habit, and a crutch. Pick your places to use it. Swearing is actually much more effective if not overused, because the swear word gains more power and notice if it is only used once or twice in the whole fucking story.

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Formatting - The Magical Paragraph

2007-04-07T02:40:00.000+10:00

Many a great story is almost impossible to read because it's written in a block. This is especially important when there's dialogue involved, because paragraphing not only makes it easier to read, but also makes it clearer to know who's talking without having to constantly write, "he said" and "she said".

All of the following paragraphs (from the earlier version of my "Reno's Story" fanfic) have proper punctuation and reasonable grammar (although not the best storytelling, but that's not the point of the exercise). Which paras, however, are easier to read?

This:

Reno grinned and stirred the ice in his glass with a lazy finger, then deliberately turned his back on Cloud, leaning his elbows on the bar. "Have a seat. I'll buy you a drink." "I'd rather keep my head clear, thanks." Cloud sat, though. "Have it your way." Reno took a mouthful of his drink. Stupid ice, always ruins a good bourbon. Note to self, he thought, specify "no rocks" next time. "You know something? You remind me a lot of myself at your age." Cloud grunted. "We are nothing alike, Turk. I'm not a mass murderer justified by a power-hungry company." He was referring to the sector 7 plate, of course. Reno sighed inwardly. "And how many people died, do you think, when you helped Avalanche blow those reactors, Strife?" he said, his voice harsher than he intended. Cloud had hit a nerve. "ShinRa isn't the only organisation guilty of self-justification." "Avalanche never experimented on anyone." Reno glanced sideways. Cloud's jaw was working. For a moment, an image of Cloud in Nibelheim all of those years ago flashed across Reno's mind, and he wondered what demons the younger man now fought as a result of Hojo's crap. "Yeah. I'll give you that one." Cloud looked at Reno, surprise flashed across his face. "I act under orders, Cloud. Being a Turk is my job, and I'm good at it. But it doesn't define who I am." "Doesn't it?" "I'm free to think what I like in my own time.

Or this:

       Cloud's lip curled derisively. "I'm surprised you bother. Reno, I don't know you, but you're kinda obvious. You may think you're different from them because you don't follow their damned dress code, but as far as I'm concerned, you're ShinRa, all the way."
       "I don't agree with everything they do." Reno's voice sounded lame even to his own ears.
       "Yet you help them do what they do anyway."
       Reno took another mouthful of his excruciatingly pallid drink and grimaced. "Man's gotta eat," he muttered. He could never explain to himself why he did what he did sometimes. There was no way he could convince anyone else. "Look, ShinRa hates Avalanche, for good reason in my opinion, but in this, we're on the same side, whether Rufus Shinra and Barret Wallace realise it or not. All of us want to stop Sephiroth." Most of us, he amended silently. Did Hojo count? "And all of us," he continued, "have the people's best interests at heart."
       "Tell that to the people of sector 7."
       "Or the people who have to live with mako poisoning any time Avalanche blows up a reactor," Reno snapped back. "I've spent years fighting Avalanche, Cloud, even going back to the time Wallace supported the installation of the Corel reactor. Fact is, those idiots have no idea what they're doin'. Where the hell do they think their electricity is coming from, huh? Is Tifa using open fires to cook the meals at Seventh Heaven? Lighting the place with candles? No? I didn't think so." Reno took a deep breath, trying to steady his mind. Strife's lucky that I'm not sober, he thought. Or I am, he amended. Cloud'd probably just put him in the hospital again.
       Cloud took him by the shoulder, forcing him to look Cloud in the eye. Cloud's face was intense. "So, Turk. Put your money where your mouth is. Leave ShinRa and help us."

Or, alternatively, for online message board posting, this:

The statement, and the unexpected contact, took Reno off his guard, so much so that he couldn't reply. His eyes locked with Cloud's instead. Mako blue. He swallowed, hard. Man, he was drunk. "I can't do that."

"That's what I thought. You're all piss and wind, Reno." Cloud's voice was hard, but he looked genuinely disappointed.

Reno swallowed again, tearing his eyes away from Cloud's. When had Strife garnered so much power over him? That wouldn't do.

The trouble, Reno realised, was that Cloud was partially right. The other trouble was, "I will fight Sephiroth until my brain boils out of my nose, kid, mostly for the fun of it, but I can't agree with what Avalanche does. Shit, it's a terrorist organisation that blows up reactors whenever they don't get what they want. They destroy homes, jobs, the economy--lives--in the process. And, don't bring up Sector 7 again. I get it. I'm a fuckwit who followed my orders without thinking things through properly." Reno turned his head so he was looking Cloud in the face again. "Don't worry, though, you're still young. One day you'll learn what it's like to make a mistake you can't live with. And then we'll talk."

Cloud's face was like stone. For a moment, though, intense pain flashed across his eyes. So there was something.

Reno leaned forwards. "See. There you go. We're not so very different after all."

Cloud growled very low in his throat, and stood, turning to leave as he did.

Reno sighed, knowing he'd let his temper get the better of him. Well, diplomacy had never been his thing, which would be why he generally left all of the talking to Rude. Yet... "Strife."

Cloud turned. For a moment, he looked like the sixteen year-old Reno had seen in Nibelheim again. Vulnerable, and unaware. Reno pulled at his earring for a moment before he said, "I am sorry about... your mother."

"Why? Her death wasn't your fault. It was Sephiroth's."

"All the same."

Cloud caught his gaze and held it for a moment, then nodded. An understanding seemed to pass between them.

For a moment, Reno thought that Cloud understood; that Reno was really apologising for allowing Hojo to take so many years of Cloud's life from him; apologising for Zack. That Cloud understood that there was no way you could adequately say something as impotent as "I'm sorry" for any of that. Not out loud, anyway. "I like to think that under different circumstances, we'd be friends," he said.

Cloud frowned. "Not a chance. I'd never be friends with a Turk."

"And that makes Vincent Valentine...?"

"Yet another person hurt by ShinRa's 'best intentions'." Cloud turned on his heel and left.

Reno turned back to the bar. Then again, maybe he was wrong. "Another, Jess," he said to the barmaid. "Keep them coming for a while. Oh, and hold the fucking ice."
#

And, so on.

NB: Either indent new paragraphs as in the first example or leave a line in between them. Don't do both.

Paragraphing is easy.

Start a new paragraph when you change thoughts.

Start a new paragraph when you have dialogue and a new person speaks or performs an action.

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Other Stuff To Remember

2007-04-07T02:34:00.000+10:00

"English words don't end in I" - We use Y instead (this applies to English words, eg, "spaghetti" is an Italian word to which English rules don't apply, obviously). Exception: The personal pronoun "I".

"English words don't end in V or U, including OU" - the only exception is the word "you". This is why we use "OW" at the end of a word instead of "OU"-- "cow", not "cou", or "plough", now often Americanised to "plow"-- and add a silent E to "have" and "revue".

"Y when used as a vowel replaces the I". This is usually, at the end of a word. This is why we replace the Y with I when adding a suffix (except "ing" where we'd double the I): Eg, fry to fried but not frying: in "fried" the I is no longer at the end of the word so it's okay to use it. We sometimes forget that Y is sometimes a vowel, but when it is, it follows all of the rules for I.

C/K/CK:

"When C has a sound by itself (ie, not ch, for example) C may only say 'S' before an E, I or Y. Before any other letter it says 'K'." This will help you decide whether you should write disk (short for "diskette") or disc (short for "discette"). The second one is obviously incorrect, as it says "disset". It is also why "sci-fi" is not pronounced "skiffy", no matter what the Spec Fic pundits say.

"CK is used only after a short vowel sound." Eg, "peck, sack, Rick, knock, duck."

"I am/he/she was disorientated":

This one is my own personal bugbear.

"To orient" is the personal verb, meaning to get one's bearings. "To disorient" is the negative verb, meaning to lose one's bearings. Therefore, the past tense is "disoriented".

There is no TATED about it. Leave the taters for the Irish Stew.

"Disorientation" is a noun, used thus: "She was in a state OF disorientation." In prose, that's passive, and wordy. Use an active verb instead (ie, "She was disoriented").

"Orientation" is the positive form of the noun.

So, you may go to your school's Orientation Day, but if you get lost there, you'd be disoriented.

Fewer/Less

Screwed up by newspaper journalists around the world in an attempt to save print space, the misuse of the word "less" has spilled into common usage even though saving print space is no longer necessary.

"She had less things to worry about" is wrong. It is: "She had fewer things to worry about." Or, better, "She had fewer worries."

It's quite simple, really. When you use a plural form, ending in s, use "fewer". If you use a plural form that is a group, or a non plural, use "less".

Fewer coins. Less money.

Fewer deaths. Less mortality.

Fewer misuses of these words, less brain trauma and fewer kill-my-TV tantrums during the news from me.

Gottit?

A couple of others:

It's all right not alright.

It's no one not no-one or noone.

It's although not allthough or all though.

It's a lot not alot.

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Commonly Misused Words

2007-04-07T02:28:00.000+10:00

This is cause for genuine confusion for some. I read many, many manuscripts every year and there are some very experienced writers who still mess it up from time to time, myself included if I'm typing on autopilot or having a brain freeze. Or the marsupial visited.

Its/It's

This is confusing because this is the one case where the apostrophe doesn't denote ownership. Remember: the replacement rule over-rules ownership.

It's = It is, eg "It's great fun playing The Sims 2."
Its = ownership, eg "Have you given your ball its bath, Reno?"

Right/Write

Right = correct, also the opposite of "left", and something everyone's entitled to, eg, "I have a right to respect if I give it." Or "You are right to assume it took a while to type this using my left and right hands."

Write = get words down into written form (if you remember the word "written", which one to use becomes a no-brainer), eg, "I often think I write badly but some really wonderful people encourage me anyway. I love them."

Your/You're/Yore

This one is really easy to remember if you learn the apostrophe rules.

Your = the second person ownership form of "you", eg, "This is your day, make the most of it."

You're = the contraction of "you are", with the apostrophe replacing the a in "are," eg, "You're going to find this easy to understand if you remember your apostrophe rules."

Yore = "olde", a long time ago. An over-used cliché, especially in any story with a wizard or medieval maiden. No one has any reason to use this word unless they're being pretentious. Don't bother with it: leave it in the days of yore, where it belongs.

Which/witch

Which = a question of choice, eg, "which of these words is correct in this context?"

Witch = Er, don't get me started on this one. An often derogatory term for an elderly or "bad" woman prone to devil worship or spellcasting, used historically as an excuse for misogyny by medical, religious and other extremist groups based on the misreading of certain scriptures. Actually, the Greek word translated "witch" means "druggist" and comes from the word we now use for "pharmacist". No, I am not wiccan, but I am irritated. Um. Eg, "Never mind, I'm sure everyone can use the word witch in context without me needing to give an example."

Whitch is not a word. Neither is wich.

There/Their/They're

There = a place. "It's over there. Can we go there? There it is!" (Remember thus: Where? There!)

Their = owned by them. "It is their coat." (See, this one follows the full "I before E" rule, too. Any other sound...).

They're = remember your apostrophe rule? They are. "They're over there, with their mothers."

Weather/Whether/Wether

Weather = the climate, what it's like outside. "How's the weather in Finland this time of year?"

Whether = if. "I wondered whether I should kiss him."

Wether = a gelded male sheep. "The wether never realised he could be a ram."

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Basic Punctuation

2007-04-07T02:20:00.000+10:00

Punctuation is not just for Grammar Nazis to pick at. Punctuation's objective is, and has always been, to make it easier to understand the story. After all, if the reader can't translate the prose, what's the point of writing it?

Beth's Very Easy Punctuation Guide.

Start all sentences with a capital letter.
End them with a full stop/period or a question mark.
Resist exclamation marks. Make your prose stronger instead. Then when you do eventually use one, it'll be more effective!
Feel free to break these rules, but only when you know how to use them, because once you do know, you probably won't break them.

Quotation marks and dialogue.

You put quotation marks around speech. You can use either " or ', it doesn't matter which, so long as you're consistent about it. If you're cutting and pasting your story from a Word file (a good idea), avoid so-called MS-Word "smart quotes" (quotation marks that lean into the words) because they can code online for some people as weird #&co symbols instead.

Punctuation within dialogue goes inside the quotation marks.

"This is incorrect", she said.

"This, however, is correct," he replied.

"Is this correct, too?" he wondered. [note: no capitalisation on "he" as the sentence didn't finish with "too?", but with "wondered".]

"You betcha, Billy."

Quoting within dialogue works thus:

"'A rose by any other name smells as sweet'."

Or,

'"A rose by any other name smells as sweet".',

depending on which marks you're using for speech. Note the full stop.

Plurals and apostrophes.

Apostrophes (') are used for two (valid) reasons only:

To replace a letter in a word thus: "can not" becomes can't -- the apostrophe replaces the "no" in "not". These are called "contractions".
To denote ownership, ie "Bethgael's Tutorial" (the tutorial by Bethgael) or "Reno's bottom" (the bottom belonging to Reno. Huhmmmm. Sorry. I was a wee bit distracted, there).

If the ownership goes to more than one (plural) or someone ending in "s" then you put the apostrophe after the s. So, "in one week's time", but, "in two weeks' time," and also, "Bess' dress" (pronounced Bess-es dress).

Rule 1 over-rules rule 2 (see "it's" later).

It should be noted, just fyi, that "Bethgael's insane" is not "the insanity owned by Bethgael" but a contraction of "Bethgael is insane" (the apostrophe replaces the i in "is"). Whether Bethgael actually owns her insanity is a psychological question, not a grammatical one.

The plural of "cat" is "cats" NOT "cat's". The plural of "rose" is "roses" not "rose's". The plural of "boss" is "bosses" not "bosse's". I am not sure how this became common usage but I suspect supermarket pricing placards are to blame.

Apostrophes are never used as a plural form.

Never.

There are no exceptions.

None.

Not even one.

So stop it.

Apostrophes should also never, ever, ever again on anyone's green earth be used for any form of elven or fantasy name unless there's a damned good reason for it.

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Grammar

2007-04-07T02:13:00.000+10:00

I'm not going to go too much into sentence structure or advanced grammar like split infinitives and dangling participles. Or whether we should use US spelling and grammar or the British version--or if it's okay to use "and" or "but" at the beginning of a sentence--because a lot of that is stylistic choice in prose and, quite frankly, so long as the intention is clear, who cares? But some basic punctuation and word usage is covered.

Fact is, contrary to popular belief, grammar is actually very easy and English does have standard and consistent rules with few exceptions, if you learn to spell phonically instead of winging it. The main reason people don't believe this is because many of us are never taught the rules, or we're taught half a rule instead of a full one. I won't labour this point, but an example is "I before E except after C", then a whole list of exceptions that make the rule seem redundant.

The full rule is actually, "I before E except after C if the sound is EE. For any other sound (AY as in vein, for example) use EI".

If we'd been taught the full rule, then there'd be only 6 exceptions if you say "EYEther/NEYEther" instead of "EEther/nEEther" for either/neither, or 8 exceptions if you don't. Easy, see?

Some people misuse the stringed word "ghoti" to try and disprove that English has consistent rules, but in actuality, if those same people knew their English rules, and understood phonics, then they would also understand that there is no way that 'G-H-O-T-I' could ever, ever say "fish."

Why? Easy: gh will only say "f" when it is a part of the "ough" phoneme that is based in another language anyway (as in "enough"). By itself, especially at the beginning of a word, "gh" always says "g" ("ghost", "gherkin").

O says "i" once only, ever, in the exceptional plural "women".

"ti" only says "sh" when used in the "tion" phoneme (and only because our speech has become lazier over time), and besides, English words don't ever end in i.

If you read this blatantly abused string as "goatee" then you can read well. If you read "fish" then you either have a Masters or PhD in English (and therefore know the trick) or you're an idiot.

Differences in spelling and sound usage become easier when you understand where English roots are. Example: the phoneme "ch", which can say "tch", "ck" or "sh". Seems confusing, until you understand that all of the "sh" words came from French (chef, chatelaine) and all of the "ck" words were originally Greek (school, chaos).

Enough of that, though.

I will cover commonly misused and misspelt words and punctuation in this section, basically a guide to all of the things your spellchecker will not pick up for you. It is not a definitive or exhaustive list but enough to get by on. :-)

Basics Glossary

A noun is a naming word. It names an object. Eg, man, chair, television.

A proper noun names a specific person, place or brand name, and is always capitalised. Eg, Reno, Australia or Maxis' The Sims 2 by EA Games. Titles of books, films and stories are also considered proper nouns and are capitalised, eg, "A Continent Too Far", "The Lord of The Rings", or "In Search of Shakespeare."

A pronoun is any word that replaces a noun, ie I, he, she, it, you, they, them, us, we, me, their, our, ours. The pronoun "I" is always capitalised. Some say this is because it names a specific person (ie, me), which is probably true, others say it's an ego thing (haha), but I reckon it's because I is easier to see in print than i.

An adjective describes the noun. Eg, "gorgeous" Reno, "brown" chair or "cheap" television.

A verb is a "doing word" (to confuse matters, grammar Nazis also like to use the word "participle"). A verb describes an action. Eg, "to sit", "to learn", "to kiss".

An adverb describes a verb, and usually ends in "ly". Eg, sit "carefully", read "attentively", kiss "passionately". In the previous sentence, "usually" was the adverb that described the verb "to end."

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Plot and Characterisation

2007-04-07T02:02:00.000+10:00

If style and voice are how you say things, plot is what you say. A plot is, basically, what happens in the story.

Plot and Characterisation are, to me, interlinked, but some stories are mostly Plot Driven and others are Character Driven. Some have an equal amount of both, and some are Idea Driven.

I am generalising here, Literary fiction tends to be almost completely character driven, ie, it's all about the character and how the events affect that character, and the growth of that character.

Genre fiction tends to be plot driven, with character. This is also a gross generalisation, because romantic fiction tends to have more character (how they feel), whereas crime fiction tends to be more about story (the crime and how its solved). Science Fiction, especially of the pulp kind, tends to be ideas driven (A really cool idea, what if x happens? then a story built around that).

No type of story is better than another, in my opinion, although debate can rage. For ever. It's moot, though. Writers like writing differently, and readers like reading different things. There's room for all of it.

Ice Station, by Matthew Reilly, is mostly plot-driven. 1984, by George Orwell, is mostly idea-driven. Shakespeare's MacBeth is character-driven. Raymond E. Feist's Riftwar saga covers a combination of the three.

Actually, all books and stories have a combination of all of the above. It's impossible to have any story without a character in it. But a plot-driven character is more likely to be driven by events, and the resolution is in the events. A character-driven story, on the other hand, will obviously have a plot (although not always), but the story is more about how the events affect the character internally than how the events are resolved.

Whatever type of story you prefer to write, there are two things to remember when it comes to stories.

Stories should have a beginning, a middle and an end.
Characters and plot should be internally consistent.

Beginning, Middle, End.
With many thanks to Kim Wilkins and Louise Cusack who first explained this particular structure formula for me, in their own ways. Beautiful, strong, talented women who write wonderful books. Drop by their sites and have a read of their books. :-)

This sounds bleedingly obvious, but I think people would be surprised to know that this is one of the most broken rules of structure. Some books have a terrific beginning, and then trail off with their endings - or worse, don't have an ending at all. They just stop.

Generally, the "beginning" is the first 10 - 15 percent of your story and the "end" covers the last 5 - 10 percent, or less in some cases, sometimes just a page if the story calls for it. The beginning is the place where you introduce your characters and set up the events for the rest of the story.

At a point, an event will happen to the character that sets up what is going to happen for the rest of the story. This is a turning point, where the character realises that he or she will have to go along with what's happening, or that they will never be the same, or that life has changed, or that danger is afoot.

Then begins your "middle", or the meat of the story. This is the part where all of the "stuff" happens. This continues until the climax of the story, which could be said to be the "beginning of the end." In fact, you may have many mini-climaxes within the story, this ramps up tension, but it is the major "it's all downhill from here: from this point, there is nowhere to go but down, or up."

Then comes the end. This is the denouement, the conclusion, the bit where it's done, and dusted, and you have a happy ending, or not. In a plot-driven story, this would be the point where the bad guy either is caught or gets away. In a character-driven story, this is the point where the character overcomes their demons, or not, and they go on to have a better life, or they kill themselves. Or whatever.

Please note: "end" doesn't necessarily mean "resolution". A story can be resolved, but not ended, or ended without everything within the story being resolved (this is especially true in the fantasy genre where trilogies can be the norm).

Let's use the War of The Worlds as an example, book, tape or either movie version, it doesn't matter, the principles are about the same. This is, in most of its forms, a plot- and ideas-driven story, rather than character-driven. We know this especially as the denouement is of the "deux ex machina" type: an event outside the character, completely out of the character's control, is what ends the story. The Spielberg version attempts to bring in character-related story, but at its heart Orwell was always ideas-driven, often brilliantly so (NB: spoilers of the story follow).

Beginning: Introduction of the characters, and the events that lead up to the Martian Invasion. In the book, and audio version, this would be the "No one would have believed that we were being..." etc., in the movie versions, the introduction of the main characters. This continues until the landing of the Martians themselves. You could say that the deaths of the people who explore the spaceship's crater is the point where the middle starts.

Ending: The climax of all versions of this story is the point where the reader, and the characters themselves, believe that it is all hopeless, that there is nothing that can be done, and that the human race is irrevocably doomed. That it is all downhill from here. Then, of course, the denouement is the realisation that this is, in fact, not the case because bacteria is stronger than Martian.

To use my A Continent Too Far story as another example, I've used Isabeau's psychological change, as well as the events, as benchmarks for beginning, middle, end. This story is character- and story-driven. Story is important, but so is character. This is what I like to read, so it's mostly what I write.

The beginning in that story is Isabeau's telling of her childhood, up to her family's deaths. At this point, she goes from being an innocent to an unintentional victim.

The beginning of the end, events-wise, is during the attack on the centaur camp and the events that occur out of that. The end is her decision to carry on. There is not a total resolution of the story (she still has many questions unanswered) but it is an ending, nevertheless, as she has gone through a full cycle psychological change, and even if I hadn't continued the story, the reader knows she has taken control of her life, and will do something about her circumstances.

Internal Consistency

This refers to both story and character, and also to world building in the case of genres that have that component.

A world can have a fantasy component such as, say, the sky is rose pink. However, this is "normal" for this world, so it would be unnatural and inconsistent for the characters remark on it as if it's something special. I mean, how many times do we run around going, "Wow! The sky is blue!" Generally, we don't. In fact, unless it's a special type of blue, or it's been raining for six years and we've forgotten what it looks like, or we're telling our kids the colour, we don't even notice it. So, we need, as writers, to communicate this in some way without being obvious about it.

A character can act "out of character": in fact, this is where a lot of stories come from. Having said that, if people act out of character, there are usually reasons behind that. They can be:

That they aren't, in fact, acting out of character at all, that everything we've seen so far, up to this point, was them pretending to be something they weren't. There should be clues in the writing of this, though.
That they have just gone through a notable event, and decide to throw caution to the wind, or, alternatively, to be more disciplined than usual.
That they are dealing with some pretty extreme circumstances.

Having said that, extreme circumstances generally don't make people act out of character. What they tend to do, instead, is simply reveal more of our character, ie, how we act in extreme circumstances. We don't suddenly go from one person to another. Instead, we tend to become a more exaggerated example of who we are. So, a very religious person may become a religious nut, or completely lose their faith. But, the person who lost their faith will still find it difficult to shake off previously strongly-held beliefs, so they won't become a morally loose cannon instead.

An example of what I'm talking about:

Betty is in love with Bob. Bob wants to woohoo, but Betty is a virgin and not ready for this, yet, so she tells him this and continues to refuse whenever he brings the subject up.

Bob, however, is a dirtbag, and one day, gets sick of being fobbed off so he tries to have Betty woohoo with him, sans permission.

Fortunately, Betty's best friend Frederick decides to visit her at just this time, and in a dazzling show of heroism, tells Bob what's what and violently shows him the door.

In an intense show of gratitude, Betty woohoos with Frederick instead and they have a rollicking old time.

This is a completely inconsistent scenario, as Betty is originally written.

So, what is wrong with it? Well, Betty's reasons are given as "a virgin not ready to woohoo."

Yet, when she is almost raped (a traumatic event enough to turn any woman off woohooing for a long time), she immediately jumps into bed with her rescuer. Let's ignore the misogynistic fantasy connotations of this scenario for a moment and focus on the psychology. A girl who is "not ready" and is strong enough to say so, and strong enough to fight if someone tries to force her, is not going to do it with anyone until she is, and an attempted rape will not make her any more ready.

So it's internally inconsistent for her to immediately jump into bed with Frederick just because he helps her out and she needs comfort. She stands up for herself. She is not a lily-livered milksop who gives in at the slightest hint of approval. And she doesn't want to.

So, unless the writer has previously shown the reader that, although Betty is telling Bob she's not ready, her real reason is that she's really in love with Frederick and has been fantasising about him for years, she is not likely to act this way. And even if she has been in love with Frederick for years, she is more likely to be embarrassed that he saw her like that, not turned on.

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Author Voice And Style

2007-04-07T01:55:00.000+10:00

In real life, I'm not this articulate. Or this preachy-sounding, now that I think about it, although my kids'd probably disagree. I can be, but most of the time my brain is a mush-pile waiting to be delved into by small marsupials looking for nesting material.

Euch. Sorry about the visual there, people.

But that's the beauty of editing, see.

Having said that, it is important that a story has what we call in the biz a "voice." Author Voice is another way of saying "author's personality." It used to be called "write how you talk", but if we all did that then everything would sound like this (in my case):

Ramble ramblerambleramble rambleramble saying very little with lots of words then go back and correct what you just said and then take a breath and then forget what on earth you were going to say in the first place. And forget my name, and I forget the word I wanted to use here; there's no shift-F7 in my head, you know (try it, you'll like it). What tense was I talking in again? Or something. Whatever. Go clean up your room.

This is all very well, but "write how you talk" tends to be taken too literally by some. "Author Voice" has some of that, but it also has to do with how you phrase words (style) and your personality and life experience. For an example, I am an Australian who grew up in the suburbs of a smallish city so obviously my childhood was very different from someone who grew up in NYC or Siberia. But even if I and my hypothetical NYC dweller had the exact same experiences growing up, we'd still have processed them differently due to personality.

It's important that you let your personality shine through in your writing. Even if you think you have the personality of the aforementioned cereal box's, there will always be someone who finds what you have to say interesting. Did you grow up in a small village in Essex? Well, you may find that boring, but I'd sure like to hear about it, because I've had no experience of that. Likewise, a kangaroo in my childhood city suburb may have been a boring, everyday, car-wrecking pest that deserved a freakin' bullet to me, but to someone from Canada or Uzbekistan the concept may be fascinating.

No matter who you are, you will resonate with someone. Never try to be all things to all people; that never works, people are too different. And, let's face it, it's the differences that make us interesting.

Style is how you phrase things. It can be passive (slow), pacey (fast) or denote atmosphere using a choice of words. You cannot force style: it gradually comes to you as you learn, and use, your own voice and learn to arrange words how you like them to sound in the reader's mind. It is also about grammar and how you use it. "Perfect Grammar" should never over-rule style, but good grammar does. You can't break the rules intentionally until you know what they are.

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Story Construction

2007-04-07T01:48:00.000+10:00

Right. First up, the basics of Story Construction.

This section, while aimed at a general Sims 2 audience, is also applicable to any other writing endeavour, for example, a novel. Basically, I've taken what I've been taught by my betters over the years and amalgamated it into these basics. There are many books on writing that will take you further. Try, for example, Stephen King's On Writing or the wonderful Ian Irvine's site. The man is a genius, people, and one of the most generous and enthusiastic writers I know.

Anyone who is familiar with the Sims 2 media would know that Sim stories can depend very heavily on the pictures you take, and on the exchange you can be hamstrung by the set character limit within the game's story interface. Yet, if you are writing stories off the exchange, where you can be more wordy, then you'll be wanting to have a very close look at your prose.

So. Step One. Once you've finished reading this paragraph, stop reading this article. Go and write your story, with or without a plan in mind: that's up to you. Don't worry about editing, or voice, or viewpoint, or how good or bad it is, or whether you've put the full stops in the right place. Don't censor yourself. The moment you do, you'll turn off the creative right brain (the side we spew story with and that gets us into trouble sometimes) and engage the logical brain (the side we edit with and also, btw, the side that tells us, if we let it, how "so very badly" we write).

Off you go now. I'll wait.

You're back? Cool. I look forward to seeing what you've written. But not yet, eh. Now is the time we take out our left brain, improve our craft and edit.

Editing is important. This section of the article, for example, was rewritten once, edited twice, and line-edited at least eleven times before I posted it. And again when I added the hypertext markup language. And again, when I posted it. And again, a few months later. And I probably still missed something.

Don't skip editing.

Read on.

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Writing For The Sims 2

2007-04-07T01:40:00.000+10:00

G'day. My name is Bethgael. I am going to go into some of the details on what can make a good story. I'll have some help of course.

Everyone say "Hi" to Reno. Reno, say "Hi" to the people.

Now, before I go any further, I am going to say a massive "Thankyou" to purple_paws at Mod The Sims 2 for the school poster custom content, some of which were very apt for this tutorial.

Thankyou, massively.

It has been said that every person has a novel in them. I don't know if this is true, but if so, there are many novels that should stay just where they are: within the person. Anyone who writes out of a cynical desire to be noticed, or for fame and fortune, should be aware that most writers get none of the above.

Having said that, if you constantly have images in your head and a story in your heart--if you are the sort of person who wants to write, who has to write, who needs to write, then you are a writer. Sure, you may not have the requisite skillset--yet. But then, that's what this article is about.

Why is it, I wonder, that people expect overnight success when it comes to writing, like anyone who isn't published--yet--is an automatic failure as a writer? Does anyone expect someone who starts painting to produce a masterpiece overnight--or someone who is learning a musical instrument to get to concert standard without hours and hours of lessons and practice first? Or an athlete to get to the Olympics within the first week of taking up running?

Writing is an art, and a craft. It's 5% talent and 95% hard work. And it requires knowledge of the written word--something that is completely learnable, if anyone sets their mind to it. But don't expect the first thing you plonk out to be a work of genius. Even Anne Rice needs to edit (whatever she may claim).

Writing is competitive, but I won't buy into that. There is room for everyone. Go for it.

It should be noted that I don't consider myself an expert on the exchange, especially as most of my stories are posted off it. In RL, though, I am a writer by trade, and it can be frustrating and sad sometimes to see some excellent storylines that are difficult to read because of, for example, no editing of typos:

pepple writn like this all the timei can see howit canbe eadierfor some to seebut oldtimers likemefindithard2read.

L337sp33k falls into this category, too. All very well for SMSing, but for stories? People. Communication, it's not.

Or, sometimes, people with excellent grammar whose stories read like the back of a cereal box. Or the cereal. Sad, but true.

For example:

"Susie Sim got a new house. Then she built a bedroom and bought some stuff. She decorated it in pink. Then she met a townie called Goopy and they did woo-hoo. They liked to woo-hoo a lot. Then they had a baby. They named the baby Harry. Harry was so cute they decided to have another baby. Lots of woo-hoo again."

So, in this tutorial, as well as looking at story basics (how to make a story people will like to read) I'll cover some basic grammar and punctuation and how to use the camera interface, as well as some tricks and tips.

I am not a great Sim photographer, but hopefully the tips will help.

It should also be noted that stories are subjective, like art. And eye candy. What is one person's cool banana is another person's iced coffee. I happen to like Reno, others prefer Aragorn or Buffy. You know how it is. Stories are intensely personal to some people, others just want to tell their online friends how their Legacy Challenge went.

It's All Good.

For the purposes of this tutorial, I have presumed that the reader has never written a story using the Sims 2, and writes like the example I gave. So more advanced users and writers may just find themselves going "duh" occasionally. Or often. I'm sure we'll try and keep you amused somehow.

The first part is story construction--a section that applies to all writing, not just for the Sims 2.

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Writing For The Sims 2

2007-04-07T01:24:00.000+10:00

This is a tutorial on writing stories for The Sims 2. The section on Story construction, however, is applicable for all writers.

This tutorial is worksafe. Each numbered section links to the others within it.

Sections:

Introduction
Story Construction
- Author Voice and Style
- Plot and Characterisation
- Grammar
- Basic Punctuation
- Commonly Misused Words
- Other Stuff To Remember
- Paragraphing
- Tense and Viewpoint
- Swearing
Sim Direction Edited 27 June
- Using Custom Content
- Story Hacks and In-Game Cheats
- Building sets
- Tips and Tricks
Photographing Coming soon
- Photo quality
- Using the in-game camera
- Where your pictures are
Uploading Coming soon
- the exchange
- Elsewhere

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Episode Four

2007-04-04T09:07:00.000+10:00

The New Lords of Harmondale

Beth thoroughly enjoyed her time aboard the Lady Margaret. Mostly because she thoroughly enjoyed throwing up constantly.

Nevertheless, time passed and the adventurers arrived in Harmondale.

Saturday, February 6, 1168. 2.30pm.

Harmondale was a small town, situated on the edge of the Elvish kingdom of Tulesia, but firmly in the Human kingdom. It was impoverished. The castle was at one end of the town, situated picturesquely at the bottom of a hill.

"What a dump," Spider remarked. "See, I told you that this whole thing was too good to be true."

"Yeah, yeah," Caber said.

"We're not going to be able to sell this, are we," Bethgael remarked.

"Well, you know what they say: location is everything," Bard said. "And the trees are actually quite lovely."

"It's the middle of winter, you fool," Caber said. "The trees are all naked."

"Exactly how you'd like them," Bard muttered.

"What was that?"

"Oh, nothing," Bard smiled innocently.

The "Castle" was fairly small, as castles go, made of a dirty brown stone. It sat like a stale loaf of bread in an empty pantry. There were two guards outside, and a raky man with a perpetually worried look.

"My lady, my lords," he said diffidently, approaching them. "If I may. You must be the new lords of Harmondale?"

"Something like that," Caber muttered sourly.

"Ah. I see," the man bowed slightly. "I am Butters, my lords' Butler. I am afraid I am the bearer of some bad news about your castle."

"The roof leaks?" Caber said sarcastically.

"Ah, yes, my lord."

"It's cold and draughty?" Spider asked.

"Definitely, my lord."

"It is in need of some repair?" Bethgael asked.

"I would say so, my lady."

"We were expecting that, Butters," Bard said. "How bad can it be?"

"Ah, my lord… well, you see…. Castle Harmondale has been empty for some time, my lord, my lady. So, you have some… squatters."

"Squatters?" Caber said. "Speak English, man!"

"Some uninvited occupants, my lord. Living there."

"Well, we'll just go on in and shift them, then. Get them to pay up with some rent," Caber muttered gruffly.

"Ah, you could try, my lord. But I don't think you'll get far with these occupants. Goblins, you see."

Spider rolled his eyes. "Figures."

Butter the Butler sighed. "I fear talking will fail with these goblins, my lord. May I suggest violence?" He bowed, "I will be at the Inn if you need me." He scuttled off in the opposite direction.

Bethgael sighed heavily. "Goblins. In our castle. And here I was thinking how this place would make an excellent summer home."

Caber adjusted his gauntlets (picked up on Emerald island with some handy spare cash). "I guess we'd better get to it, then."

"You don't want to explore the town first?" Bard asked.

"Why would I want to do that?" Caber growled.

"You're in a fine mood this afternoon."

"I have squatters."

"I was going to say," Bard continued, "these people are also officially ours, and perhaps we should get to know them."

"We can do that later," Bethgael said. "Let's get our house cleared out first, eh?"

Bard shrugged. "Okay."

The front door of the Castle was hanging off its hinges, and there was an awful smell permeating the Castle. Piles of rubbish sat in the Great Hall. It was vaguely familiar…

"Rats," Bard muttered. "I hate rats."

Then the rats came, in large numbers, throwing fire, lightning and spitting their scabby saliva all over them. Spider grimly bashed them on the back of the heads with the butt of his staff, Caber fought them, slashing downwards, but they were coming at them in ever increasing numbers. Bethgael soon felt overwhelmed.

"Argh!" Spider yelled. "Damn things are biting me!"

Bethgael looked at him… he was slowly turning a nasty shade of green… gradually, the colour rolled up Spider's face until he looked very sick.

"I don't feel so good," he moaned, weakly hitting another rat as it chewed around his ankles.

Bard stabbed them with his dagger. "I hate rats."

Then there were no more rats. Spider weakly slumped to the floor, retching. "I really don't feel very good," he rasped.

Bethgael crouched down next to him, feeling his forehead. "He's hot."

"Cold," Spider said.

"Bard, can you help him?"

"There is something I can mix up that will help him, but I haven't got the ingredients in me," Bard said. "I saw an alchemist in the village. We can pick up what I need there."

They made it to the alchemist just before closing time, and soon had Spider ensconced in bed at the Inn – "On The House" - with a good swallow of Bard's potion down his gullet. "He should be fine in the morning," Bard said. "We'll let him sleep and go and talk to the locals."

They clomped downstairs to the common room of the Inn. There were a number of people there. One was Butters, who expressed concern over Spider's condition. Another gentleman came up and introduced himself. "I am Wendell Tweed, the Court Historian. People call me 'JD'. Lord Markham has asked me to write down the history of Harmondale for your lords' perusal." He presented them with a book. The first few pages had been lettered in. "I will continue to write down things as they happen, my lords."

Bethgael took the book. "Thankyou, JD." She opened it up and read it, with Bard looking over her shoulder. "It seems we've taken on more than we realised," she said.

"According to this, Harmondale has been the centre of dispute between the elves and the humans for ever," Bard explained to Caber, who was downing his third ale. "We're not expected to last."

"We'll just have to prove them wrong, then," Caber said through bites of bread.

"Please don't talk with your mouth full, Caber, it's disgusting," Bard said.

"Put it up your – "

"Listen to this," Bethgael interrupted with a frown at both of them. " ' The traditional rulers of Harmondale, Erathia and Avlee, have not really noticed the change of ownership,' " she read, " ' but I'm sure that's just an oversight that will be corrected soon. Since Harmondale is currently under human rulership, I expect the Queen's tax collectors will be here shortly to enquire.' Tax collectors?" she turned to JD.

"Well, yes, my lady," JD replied. "The Queen is most insistent that her dues are paid promptly."

"Well." Caber said. "Nobody told us that. And I don't think so."

"It's up to you, my lord," JD said diffidently, "If I may say so, you're not really expected to last long enough to need to pay taxes anyway."

"If the Queen is in charge of Harmondale, then she certainly hasn't lived up to her obligations to the populace," Bard commented, taking a sip of his ale. He coughed. "Not the best, but it will do."
"Castle Harmondale has been under Lord Markham's rule for some time, my lord," JD replied, "with a succession of pretenders. Lord Markham is also the Lord of Tatalia, and it has been said that he is not very generous with his peasants."

"It is still the responsibility of the Queen to make sure things are looked after properly," Bethgael said, "and I'll be damned if I am paying any taxes to anyone who has neglected her responsibilities for so long."

"It's your funeral, my lady," JD commented.

Bethgael felt a tap on her shoulder. "Excuse me," said a deep voice. She turned and saw a very upset merchant. "Are you the new lady of Harmondale?" he asked.

"Yes."

"My name is Davrik Peladium, my lady. I've lost my livelihood, my lady. My signet ring was stolen, and I have no way of getting it back. I was wondering if you could help me."

Bethgael took a description of the bandits and promised the man that they would keep an eye out for the thieves.

"Would you like anything else to drink?" the Innkeeper asked Bethgael. He had earlier introduced himself as "Chowguy". "No? To eat, then? How about a game of Arcomage, then?"

"What's that?" Bethgael asked.

"A card game," Bard said. "No, thanks, Chowguy, we don't own an Arcomage deck."

"They're hard to come by," Chowguy said.

Sunday, February 7, 1168. 6 am

"I don't see why we should have to work on a Sunday," Caber grumbled as they trudged back to the Castle.

"The sooner we get this done, the sooner it is done," Bard said, shivering slightly in the cold.

"Yeah, that made sense in an unnecessary way," Caber muttered.

Spider was deep in thought. "What did you make of that Hairbaugh fellow?" Bard's potion had done its work, and he was fully recovered from the mysterious disease the rats had given him. As they had left "On the House", a peasant named Hairbaugh had sidled up to them and told them that if they lit beacon fires, they could expect help from Erathian troops in getting rid of the goblins that surrounded the town.

"I didn't like him," Bethgael said. "He had shifty eyes."

"Yup, that's a good way of judging someone," Caber said. Bethgael stuck her tongue out at him. "And no more of that, young lady."

"Let's worry about that when we've finished here, okay?" Bard said.

They all took their weapons out and walked into the Castle.
"Anybody home?" Bethgael said brightly. "Yoo-hoo!"

"Was that really necessary?" Bard asked her.

Bethgael shrugged. "Let's get them to come to us. I couldn't be bothered looking for them." She raised her voice. "Your landlords are here. Rent's due!"

"That brought 'em," Caber said, unlimbering his sword.

By 6.40 it was all over.

"Nice little fight," Caber commented, surveying the green-skinned mess on the floor. "Let's have a look around, shall we?"

"Hey have a look at this," Bard said, digging into a chest that Bethgael had disarmed. He produced a scroll and read it. "It seem you two were right about Hairbaugh – he's a traitor. If we had lit those signal beacons, we would have gotten troops, all right – from the wrong side though. Goblins."

Caber cracked his knuckles. "We'll deal with him first, I think."

Hairbaugh tried to bluff them, until they produced the scroll – a letter to Hairbaugh.

"I'll get you," he snarled, and ran towards them, but Caber was ready for him and smoothly ran him through.

"Well, that's that," he said grimly, wiping his blade. "I guess we can expect no help getting rid of the goblins from around the town."

"I suppose not," Bard said. "Let's go and talk to Butters. I dare say he can advise us on how to proceed."

Butters was most impressed. "Well done, my lords, my lady! Well. I shall get back up there and see to the removal of the bodies, then."

"We need your advice," Bethgael said. "We don't have the labour or the money to fix the castle. We'd really like it habitable and it just isn't. There's a heap of rocks in front of the throne room… rubbish everywhere.."

"I understand, my lady." Butters thought for a while. "May I suggest that you ask the Dwarf King? His good opinion of you may help in this ongoing conflict over Harmondale… and he has the resources to help you. He lives at Stone City, at the Barrow Downs."

"Well, I guess we go there, then," Spider said. "Thankyou, Butters." Butters inclined his head and scurried back up the hill towards the castle.

"Ah, Spidey. You do realise that the town is surrounded by goblins and we'll have to get past them to go to the Barrow Downs?" Bethgael asked.

"A mere inconvenience," Caber said. "But let's get some training first." he pointed his thumb at a nearby building. It had a rickety sign that said "Basic Principles".

They walked towards it, but were inundated with peasants, offering help (for a price). They shoo'ed off those, but a couple caught their attention. One, a man called Darren Temper, told them of his brother, an avid Arcomage player, who had gone to the White Cliff caves and never returned. Another one, a monkish fellow with a rather nasty sore on his face, said that Harmondale was cursed because the Lantern of Light had been stolen. He believed it was in the Barrow Downs – could they find it for him? Good fortune was sure to follow!

"These people seem desperate," Bethgael said, "I can't believe that it's so awful."

Bard looked at her sympathetically. "We'll do what we can as we can," he said, as they entered Basic Principles. "Ah, JD, be a good fellow and wait for us at the Castle, will you?"

~*~*~*

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Next: to Episode Five - Goblins, Goblins Everywhere : Coming soon

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Episode Three

2007-04-04T08:54:00.000+10:00

Emerald Island – To wit, To win?

Tuesday, January 2, 1168.

They slept soundly, not surprisingly, considering how busy they'd been that day, but were up bright and early, spitting themselves out of the Inn at 6.07 am, into a foggily depressing landscape. After handing in their shell, they discovered that they were now in second place.

"We only have the longbow, the tile and the musical instrument to get now," Spider commented. "Do you think we should go and buy that lute from your musical friend, Bard?"

"Only if we can't find it somewhere else."

"Pity she didn't get herself knackered by dragonflies yesterday," Caber commented. "We could save ourselves some money."

Bard gave him a sideways look.

Caber coughed. "I suggest we keep looking around the town for some clues on how to go about this. There's a magic shop up on the hill. We should get some money for some of these rings and things. We should find out how this fireball thing works, too. And Bethy wants us to learn how to use these bows, so we may as well. She'll go on for days about it if we don't. Let's face it, we need some training, too."

Which they did. They emerged from the Emerald Island Training Grounds on…

Wednesday, January 10, 1168.

"Happy Birthday!" Caber said to Bethgael. "Again. So, what would you like to do today?"

"Let's do something exciting. How about we go and find those contestants? Or finish up. I feel like getting myself a Castle today."

"Shop-aholic," Spider said

"Where would you like to start looking?" Bard asked.

"The Cave around the corner?"

Bard looked a little nervy. "Do you remember what that lady, what's her name… Mia Lucille… said?"

"That the island people pay the dragon tribute to keep pirates and undesirables off the island?" Caber shrugged. "What about it?"

"My question is: do we count as 'undesirables'?"

"Ah. Good point."

"My suggestion is that we throw on some fire protection and jut run in and run out as quickly as we can," Spider said. "If they're in there, then good. If not, then no need for us to die. We might pick up a couple of things though, who knows?"

"It'd be good for a laugh, if nothing else," Caber commented.

"So, shall we, gentlemen?" Bethgael asked.

The opening of the cave loomed darkly overhead. Bethgael could hear the faint drip… drip…. drip of water and the air smelled musty. There were other smells as well, too dimly recognised to do anything but tickle the senses enough to be glad that you couldn't recall what it meant. They went in quietly and she could hear the sounds of chittering and flaring as the dragon killed what were probably rats. Bethgael saw some bones on the ground and motioned to them to Bard. He nodded grimly. It seemed they had found the missing contestants. Caber ran forward and grabbed a shield that was lying next to one of the piles of bones. Bethgael saw a scroll on the floor and grabbed it as well, and Spider grabbed a longbow that was also lying on the floor of the cave.

Then Bethgael felt it. Heat seared her face.

"Bard!" she yelled as she saw him engulfed in flame. She turned in shock to see a dragon lumbering awkwardly towards them, spewing fire. She pulled her bow.

"We can't fight that!" Spider yelled. "Come on, Beth, we're outta here!"

They turned and ran, Caber dragging Bard's inert body with him. They kept running until they reached Lord Markham's Headquarters.

"Is he dead?" Spider asked her.

"He seems to be," Bethgael said grimly. "But there was a healer near the gully heading towards the dragonflies. Maybe she can help. Damn it, this is my fault."

"We don't have any money," Caber noted.

"The reward," Bethgael answered, wiping her face tiredly. "We'll hand in this longbow and see if Lord Markham will recognise this shield as enough proof that we've discovered the missing contestants."

Spider nodded, patting her on the shoulder. "Good idea."

Fortunately, it turned out that Bard was not completely dead, and it only cost 150 gold pieces to heal him. Bethgael secretly thought that they had been given a discount – the woman was very familiar with Bard…. he'd obviously visited there the evening before.

Bethgael watched very closely, but she couldn't work out how the healing woman did what she did. One minute, Bard was a blackened and blistered mess, the next minute, he was his urbane self, minus some hair, but he was assured that it would grow back – eventually. He picked up a few merchant skills while he was there, too.

"Well, that was an adventure," he said as they emerged from the healer's tent. "So, shall we go find the tile now?"

"What about that scroll?" Caber asked suddenly.

Bethgael pulled it out of her belt and read it quickly. "It seems we were right in not trusting the late Mr Malwick," she said. "This scroll indicates that he doesn't keep very good company. I have the feeling that his 'favour' would have been very difficult for us to keep and the consequences would have been unpleasant."

"Glad to hear it," Bard said. "The tile?"

Bethgael rolled her eyes. "Uh, Bard, you've already been dead once today already. Do you really want to push your luck?"

"Why not?" Bard replied jovially. "Getting killed revitalises a man. Let's do it."

"Ooookay," Caber said. "But, it's your birthday, Bethy. You decide."

"Well, if Bard is happy to get killed again, who am I to say no?"

They bought the lute from Bard's friend Ailyssa and handed that in to Thomas the Judge first, then it was a short hike around the island to the top of the waterfall, where the entrance to the caves to the temple of the Moon was located.

"Do you think it's safe?" Bethgael asked stupidly.

"Probably not," Spider replied. "But we need the tile, so in we go."

So they did. Spider cast an enchantment that gave them some light…. which brought some flying beasts down upon them, biting and screeching.

"Giant bats!" Bethgael yelled. "Ack, correct that, Vampire Bats! Don't let them bite you! They'll give you a bad disease!"

They soon dispatched them, and Caber noticed a hidden cavern in a wall. "Maybe our floor tile is in here," he muttered. "See if there's a trap, Bethy."

She did so, but no tile. A heap of gold and some strange-looking weapons were in there, though, along with a helmet that Caber put on jauntily. "How do I look?"

"Very nice," Spider complimented him, "if you don't mind looking like someone dumped a bowl on your head."

"One of us needs to learn how to identify stuff, " Bethgael muttered. "It would make life a whole lot less expensive. Perhaps our new merchant can learn it, just to make sure you're not selling something important," she added, smiling at Bard.

"Maybe later, Beth," he said. "We're a little busy right now."

"Of course." She stuck her tongue out at his back.

They continued along the darkened passage. Bethgael couldn't help but feel very nervous, something that she would never have admitted to any of her companions, even her brother. He probably already knows though, she thought with a smile. No hiding anything from him.

Spider patted her on the shoulder.

They came to a fork in the passages. "Which way?" Caber asked.

"Right," Bard replied.

"Wrong!" Caber yelled as a large number of rats ran out at them. Bethgael used her bow and shot a few of the giant rats from a distance. There was one that spat lightning at them, though, that caused her some bother. Spider ran in and brought the butt of his staff down on the back of the rodent's head. It died with a loud protesting squeak.

There was some more treasure in the cavern, but the cavern itself led to a dead end.

The caves were full of horrible little crawling things, mostly rats, and awful flying things… bats. Every so often though, the monotony was broken by a Giant Spider or two, who spat poison in their faces. Soon, however, they had fought their way through the caves and found the entrance to the Temple of the Moon.

Then their torch went out.

They were in utter darkness. It smothered them. It was all Bethgael could do not to scream… she was an elf: she needed air… trees… sun on her face! Then she felt a breeze on her face… but it wasn't a breeze.

"More bats," she hissed. "Give us some light, please, Spider." She could barely keep the panic from her voice as she swung her axe wildly.

Caber grunted as he swung his sword. "It would help if we could see them," he commented, sounding calm.

Bard was thrusting his dagger at his feet. "Rats…. we have rats. I hate rats.

"We have the rats,
We have the bats,
I'd cry for cats,
But they'd be gnats.
Against these chaps."

"Chaps?" Bethgael asked incredulously, dodging a bat as it narrowly missed biting at her ear.

"Best I could do at a pinch," Bard shrugged, stabbing at a giant rat.

Spider finished muttering and a light flared up.

"Ah, that's better," Caber said, stabbing a lightning rat through the back of its head.

They dispatched the rest of the creepy crawly beasties with aplomb. "I think we're getting better at this," Bard commented as they slowly made their way down a broad set of stairs into what looked like the main altar room of the Temple.

"WHHOOOM- PA!"

"What the-?" Caber asked.

"WHHOOM-PA!"

There was a fireball dashing across the front of the altar, from one side corridor into another.

"WHHOOM-PA!"

"Well, there's no going in there," Spider commented. He bent over to see if he could pry up one of the floor tiles, but to no avail.

"WHHOOM-PA!"

"Let me try," Bard said, using his dagger. But he had no better luck. "Looks like we'll have to look into the side corridors."

"WHHOOM-PA!"

"They happen regularly," Bethgael commented. "Maybe we can run around them or something."

"WHHOOM-PA!"

Caber shrugged. "Let's give it a go."

So they did, running into one corridor. There was a door on the other side. "Everyone ready?" Bethgael asked. They nodded, and she pressed the button in the wall to open the large, heavy doors.

They saw a large bedroom, with four beds. There was someone there!

"Uh, hi guys."

Caber re-sheathed his sword. "Blackmane. What are you doing here?"

Blackmane shrugged. "Nothing. Looking around. You?"

"Uuuuh…. nothing," Caber said guardedly.

"You'd better be careful," Blackmane warned.

"Will do," Caber replied. Bethgael was already letting her curiosity get the better of her. She had found five large cabinets and was busily fiddling with the locks.

"BOOM!"

"Uh, sorry," she said. "Everybody okay?"

Caber picked himself up off the floor and brushed himself off. Bard winced as he pulled a splinter of wood from his cheekbone. Spider, who had ducked in time, just glared at her.

"Stop that," Bethgael snapped. "I said sorry, didn't I? Besides, look what we have here."

The place was a virtual treasure trove. There was a fancy hat, which they left behind, figuring that someone else could use it, after Bethgael tried it on and realised it just looked silly. Pink feathers clashed with her hair. They all decided just to grab what they could and go through it later. There was no tile, and they were feeling very tired. It had to be getting late. They explored the other side of the temple, a library, and found plenty of spell scrolls, but no tile.

Then, Spider discovered a secret door in one of the walls, and after dispatching a rat or two, they saw it. The tile. They ran out of there like there were a thousand rats on their tails, into darkness…. with a small glow in the east. The sun was rising. The job had taken them all night.

"Let's go get some sleep," Caber yawned.

In the Inn, they went through what they had found in the temple. There was another helmet, which Bard appropriated, and numerous weapons – including a nice-looking axe, better than the one Bethgael currently had, anyway. She took that. And gold, spears, shields, spell scrolls, which Spider pocketed, and the tile. They slept well.

Thursday, 11 January, 1168

When Bard knocked respectfully on Bethgael's door, the sun was shining brightly through her window. It was almost lunch time. She was stiff and sore, but otherwise unharmed.

"Beth?"

"Yeah, hang on," she said, swinging her legs out of the pallet and pulling on her boots.

Lord Markham was exceedingly pleased when he saw that they had won the treasure hunt.

"Well," he said. "here is the deed and the contract to sign… here, and here. You'll find your new home to your satisfaction, I hope. It will need some work, but adventurers such as yourselves shouldn't find that too difficult. Congratulations!"

"Thankyou," they mumbled. Bethgael was starting to feel a bit suspicious, a suspicion that deepened as Lord Markham continued, "My entourage and I will be taking a ship off Emerald Island today, but there is a ship readied for your use that you can take whenever you want to."

They were clearly dismissed.

"Well, shall we go?" Bethgael asked.

"Nah, there's no hurry," Bard said. "Let's hang around and get some more experience, learn a few things, sell our wares, buy some armour or something."

"I heard this morning that some of those dragonflies were back," Caber said. "We can have a bit of fun knocking the rest of them off."

"Why not?" Bard said. "I have to spend some time… saying goodbye… to Ailyssa, anyway. And the woman healer. Then there's the lady at the Alchemist's shop. Oh! And…"

"We get the idea," Bethgael muttered.

They finally were ready to leave on Saturday, January 27, and they trudged up to the wharf after waiting for Bard to say his "goodbyes" a third time that morning.

Spider's eyes suddenly started flashing.

"What's wrong?" Bethgael asked him.

"Look at the name of the ship," he replied through gritted teeth.

Bethgael looked, and burst into laughter. It was the Lady Margaret.

~*~*~*

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Episode Two

2007-04-04T08:44:00.000+10:00

Emerald Island – Dragonfly Paradise

Monday, January 1, 1168.

The trip across to Emerald Isle had been fairly long and, for Bethgael at least, unpleasant. Her stomach just never got used to the constant swaying, lurching, leaping…. urgh. However, the four adventurers were able to spend some time getting to know each other.

Bard was definitely a charmer, smooth and urbane, with the rather unsettling habit of spouting poetry at unpredictable times. This, Bethgael thought, would be a rather annoying habit except that the man was pretty good at it! It was true that he was a Druid, albeit a fairly lowly one. He carried a badly made dagger and spent some time going through some spell books he had acquired and committing them to memory. This was a pastime that Spider shared, learning spells. There was an elderly sorcerer on the ship as well, who taught Spider how to throw a Fire Bolt, as well as a spell the old fellow termed "Feather Fall" – supposedly to protect someone from hurting themselves if they were falling from a great height – and another, Poison Spray.

"That'll be useful," Spider said euphemistically.

Bethgael was not sure what to make of Caber. He didn't seem very bright – but then, it was brawn, not brains, that mattered to a knight, and he possessed plenty of brawn. Despite his grey-looking beard, the fellow wasn't very old, and he wore light tan pants and a pale green shirt that Bethgael secretly thought didn't really suit him, and a wool-lined vest that smelt rather like his last drink. He carried a worn sword that he seemed to be able to use – barely. He was gruff one minute, and joking the next.… and after 3 days, he even managed to look at Spider without bursting into laughter. He just started making inane comments about Spider's green tights instead. His comments about Bethgael's green tights, on the other hand, were not inane: they usually bordered on the offensive. Spider spent most of his time trying to decide whether or not he should go into fits of apoplexy. All in all, it would have been quite amusing… if she had been able to keep her stomach still. Her face was as green as her tights, Spider told her.

So, when the ship docked at Emerald Isle, Bethgael breathed a sigh of relief. Of course, she didn't expect that after some time on board a ship that the ground would start moving when she stood on it, but, hey, you couldn't have everything.

They were met at the docks by Margaret the Docent.

"What's a docent?" Caber muttered.

"Guide, teacher, lecturer," Bard replied.

"I am your tour guide," Margaret informed them. "And, I will ask that all who come to Emerald Isle please refrain from gross violations of civilised behaviour."

Bard elbowed Caber. "Did you get that? She means, 'be good'."

"I got that," Caber replied sardonically.

Margaret explained that there would be several things that would be needed to be found in order to win the Scavenger Hunt. She listed them. A wealthy hat – "Like a hat has money," Bard commented sarcastically – a red potion, a longbow, a sea shell, a musical instrument and a floor tile from the Temple of the Moon.

"Wherever that is," Bethgael said.

"Oh, we'll find it," Caber said confidently.

They were also warned about the presence of a "monster" on the island, which they should try to avoid, if possible. Apparently, some of the contestants had already gone missing.

"Now they tell us," Spider said.

"Would you like me to give you a tour of the island?" Margaret asked.

Bethgael looked at the others. "What do you think?"

Caber shook his head. Bard shrugged. Spider said, "You know how I feel about it." Bethgael did. The woman's name was Margaret, after all. That would annoy Spider like a…. fly.

"No, thankyou, Margaret, we'll take a look around on our own," she said.

Margaret shrugged. "I'll be keeping an eye on you now," she said.

"You do that, honey," Caber replied, giving the woman a firm tap on the rump.

"Can I suggest that we have a look around and see what we can see? If there are some big baddies here, we may like to look into getting some skills, too. Perhaps you should all learn how to use a bow." Bethgael suggested.

"That's likely to cost," Caber grumbled.

"I daresay we can come up with something," Bard said. "How much do we have?"

They pooled their funds. "200 gold pieces," Spider said finally.

"That's not too bad," Bard said.

Their optimism about their financial position waned when they saw the prices on the Island. 50 gold pieces bought them membership in each magic guild… swords hardly worth spitting on cost more than they had, and as for training, the teacher wanted 500 gold pieces each to teach them how to shoot a bow!

"Criminal," Caber muttered. He spied the Inn. "I need a drink."

"Uh – uh, not now, buddy," Bard said. "Let's go and see the head honcho and see what we can do about the financial criminality on this Island."

Fifteen minutes later, they were knocking on Lord Markham's door. He was the current owner of the castle that was the prize for the contest, it turned out. Castle Harmondale, on the human – elf border, in one of the "most scenic areas of all Erathia". Apparently, he was giving it away because it was a bit of a "fixer-upper." He said nothing about the prices on the Island, but he did mention a 1000 gold piece reward for information on the missing contestants.

Thomas the Judge told them the rules of the contest. "All items are to be handed in to me," he announced.

"I have a red potion," Bard said. The others looked at him questioningly. He shrugged. "I'm an alchemist."

"Just as well," Thomas the Judge said. "Almost all of the other contestants have already handed in a red potion. Well, off you go now. Good luck."

"Good luck, you say," Caber mimicked as they went outside. "Good luck. Now, why don't I like the sound of that? I may be stupid, but I'm not that stupid. A free castle, for almost nothing? Hmph."

"Well, let's do it, anyway, even if we just manage the 1000 gold piece reward, that'd be good," Bethgael remarked.

"Probably," Caber replied, his eyes lighting up at the thought of gold. "Oh, by the way, Bethy, I've – uh… a little something for you." He handed her a small pearl ring. "Happy Birthday."

"Why, thankyou, Caber," Bethgael replied. "This is lovely. But it's not my birthday until the 10th."

Caber shrugged.

Bard spied some of the local women. "Just going to go and learn a few things, " he said, sounding a little too innocent.

Caber grimaced. "Going to go and try chatting them up, is what he means. Not a bad idea, really."

Spider followed. "Wait for me!"

Bethgael rolled her eyes. "Men," she said, going in the opposite direction.

An hour later, they met at the well in front of the Inn.

"Well," Bard said, "there are a lot of very helpful ladies on this island. You have Ailyssa the Bard just over there, who has a musical instrument and will sell it to us for 500 gold… Sally sells sea shells by the sea shore just around the corner and will sell us one for 100 gold."

"I've received quite a number of offers of help, all couched in a request for money, of course," Spider commented.

"The Inn has a large store of kegs just outside it. Nothing there except beer." Caber burped noisily.

"I was approached by a man who called himself Malwick," Bethgael told them. "He offered me a wand of fireballs in return for a favour. It sounded way too good to be true, so I declined."

"Probably a good idea, Sis," Spider said. "We can always go and shake him down later if we need to."

"Spider!" Bethgael reproved, shocked at his suggestion. "Also, there is a large nest of giant dragonflies at the bottom of the Island. There's a hut down there, we could look into it. There's bound to be something. Also, a fellow contestant up near the bridge there has offered us a wealthy hat if we give him a red potion. I didn't – I'm all out."

"I have one," Caber said. At least, I have some berries and a bottle. Can you do something with that, Bard?"

"Sure. Hand 'em over," he said. "Then we can try some dragonfly hunting."

"Should be fun," Caber commented.

"Did anyone manage to find out where this Moon temple is?" Bard asked.

They all shook their heads. "There's a cave up there, though," Spider motioned to the top of the waterfall.

"Well, we'll look there later." Bard said. "Everybody ready? Let's go."

It was a simple matter to make a direct swap and hand in their wealthy hat to the judge. The dragonflies were another matter, though. Slowly, they crept forward… they could hear the dragonflies buzzing.

"There are several types, by the looks of it," Bethgael said. They looked at her.

"She is a Ranger," Spider explained, "so she can identify all sorts of monsters."

"The white ones are fairly small, they shouldn't pose too much difficulty. The gold ones… well, they're a bit tougher – and they spit fire at you. Watch out for the red ones, though: they're Queens. The trick is to try and take 'em out a few at a time. If you end up with a swarm of them, well, I'd run. Like a screaming baby, if you have to, or we'll end up with a full 'Attack of the Giant Dragonflies' story as our epitaphs, which will make the Giant Bees look like a picnic." She pulled out her crossbow. "I wish all of you had one of these," she fretted. "It would help." Caber silently pulled his sword, Bard got out his dagger and Spider hefted his staff. "Ready?" They nodded. "Okay. Let's go."

They slowly inched down the hill, and the buzzing got louder as they went. They could hear the popping of fireballs being thrown. Bethgael stood her ground and shot at one of the dragonflies. It hit, but it didn't die. Of course, this meant that a whole swarm of them flew towards them.

The men stood their ground as Bethgael struggled to reload. "What I wouldn't give for a good longbow," she muttered as she yanked the string back on to its hook. She had just enough time for one more shot as the flies came upon them. Fortunately, the fly in front fell to the ground with a dull thud as her shot hit truly. There was no time for more shots, so she grimly drew her axe, heavy and unwieldy as it was, it would do the job on these. She would get a new one when she could afford it.

She swung at the nearest dragonfly and it spat at her. It was a gold dragonfly and she was grateful for that well they had talked at earlier– it had a magical power that gave them some immunity to fire – but she felt a searing to her arms, none the less. She swung wildly and managed to kill the dragonfly, noting out of the corner of her eye that her companions were also swinging at other dragonflies. Spider had hit two down with his staff and Caber had taken out three white flies with his rusty sword. He would need a new weapon, too.

Bard was looking a little worse for wear, however. "Bard!" she yelled, "Heal spell!" Bard nodded, grimly trying to extricate himself from the gold dragonfly who was circling around his head. His little dagger didn't have the reach to be effective. Bethgael ran in and swung her axe wildly, dropping the dragonfly and giving Bard enough time to cast his spell.

Then, suddenly, there were no more flies. At least, not in the immediate area. Caber was panting and Bethgael felt very tired. Spider looked flushed.

"How is everyone?" Bard asked, clearly the better off for his magic.

"I've been better," Caber said.

"Uh, guys," Spider said, " We're not done yet." He nodded towards the large swarm coming towards the group. There were... lots. They looked at each other. "I don't think we can cope with this many at the same time," Caber said.

"Me neither. Run!" Bethgael yelled.

They ran back towards the village, the swarm close behind them. They got to the village and the dragonflies started attacking the villagers. The carnage was dreadful.

"Ack, I didn't count on that happening." Bard commented grimly, taking a swipe at one of the flies.

The town watch ran towards them. "I thought I told you not to cause any trouble," a big beefy bloke said to them as he ran in and attacked the dragonflies. They then went down to the nest and started fighting them there. Three guards went down, only one returned, worse for wear. "There aren't many left, " he gasped. Bard healed him.

"Maybe we should go and finish them off, " Caber said with a glance at the dead peasants all through the village. "It's the least we can do."

"We probably should," Bethgael replied. "Spider, what are you doing?"

"Going through their pockets for loose change."

"That's awful!"

Spider shrugged. "They're dead, they're not going to miss it. Besides… look what I found." He held up a wand that looked like a Unicorn horn. "It seems our Mr Malwick didn't make it. Think this is our fireball wand?" Of course, none of them knew, exactly, so they decided to ask the magician at the Magic Shop – later.

Bard adjusted his belt. "Well. Let's go then."

By the time they had finished off the few dragonflies that were left, darkness was falling. They went into the hut cautiously, just in case there was someone else there, but it was empty except for four crates. Spider started towards one. "Wait," Bethgael said, "they might be trapped. Let me look." She spent some time examining them. "They seem to be fine. Now, let's see what we have here… Ah, a bow… crude, but I can use this… Oooo, a shell, now we won't have to buy one from that Sally girl…. bottles – " she handed those to Bard, along with some herbs. "A long dagger. Here Bard, that's better than the one you've got. A cutlass for Caber. And… here, Spider, you can have this," she handed him a long green cloak. "Aaaand, the best bit. We have about 2000 gold to spend now."

Caber whistled. "Well," he said. "Well. That was worth the fun. Let's go and sell some of this stuff."

"Caber," Bard said patiently, "It's after ten o'clock. Everything closed at six. Let's go back to the Inn and get some shut-eye, then we can hand in our shell and our hat and drop in to the weapons shop first thing. Maybe we can buy a better axe for Beth, here. The one she's got is pretty awful."

They trudged along the beach on their way back to the Inn and happened to stumble upon another crate. In it, they found themselves some more crude weapons, another bow and a shield, as well as another 600 gold pieces. "Well," Caber said again.

"That's three bows among us, now," Bethgael remarked. "Now, you all just have to learn how to use them. That skill would have helped us a LOT today."

"We get the picture, Sis, don't nag."

So they ended up in the Common Room of the Inn again, where a disreputable-looking fellow who called himself "Blackmane" offered to teach them a few things. He asked Bethgael if she would like some hints on stealing stuff, but she declined. He gave Bard and Spider some hints on noticing the area around them better – he called it "Perception." It didn't cost them too much, either.

~*~*~*

Back: to Episode One
Next: to Episode Three: Emerald Island - To Wit, To Win?

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Episode One

2007-04-03T09:17:00.000+10:00

Three Men and a Lady

Bethgael Amberhair wondered if it had been worth waking up that morning. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now…. well, now she wasn't so sure.

She had woken up, groggily pulling herself out of her blankets and wriggling her toes until they stopped feeling chilled, and was informed peremptorily by her twin brother that she was, henceforth, to call him "Dark Spider". This worried her somewhat, but then, he had always been a little on the weird side. Of course, this could simply be the final rebellion against their parents having called him "Margaret" and having been called "Maggie" all of his life…. you never could tell. She considered, not for the first time in their lives, that she was definitely the saner of the two, despite being slightly the younger.

She arched an eyebrow at him and said nothing.

"So, what will we do today?" Maggie – no, Dark Spider – asked her in a bright voice.

"Find a good psychiatrist," Bethgael muttered under her breath.

"Huh?"

"Nothing." She sighed. "You don't really expect me to call you Dark Spider, do you?"

"Well, yes, actually."

She regarded her brother's face for a minute. "Your face is too widely innocent to be able to wear a name like that without being laughed at, you realise that, don't you?"

His features darkened.

"I don't suppose this is just another 'stage' you're going through, is it?"

He glared at her.

She sighed again. "Oh, okay, then, Spidey, whatever you want. Oh, don't look at me like that. I'm hardly going to run around Erathia going 'Dark Spider, where art thou!' am I? They'll throw me in a mental home."

Spider smiled. "Breakfast?"

"Yeah, thanks."

She shouldered her crossbow as they picked up to leave. "So, Mr Sorcerer, where are we off to today?"

"You're going to let me decide?" She gave him a level look. "Okay, keep your pants on. I heard a rumour in that town we went through yesterday afternoon. Apparently, there is a treasure hunt on some island somewhere. The prize: a Castle."

"You want to go on a Treasure Hunt. What on Erathia would we do with a Castle? We're elves, for Roland's sake. And I hate ships"

"Do you always have to be so abrasive?"

"Well, no. Sorry. I slept on a rock last night. And I get seasick."

"Well, if you'd let us stay at the Inn yesterday…"

"I know. We couldn't afford it."

He grinned. "So, we go win a castle. We don't have to keep it. Let's sell it, I'm sure there's a Noble somewhere in need of a good home."

She shrugged. "Okay."

They trudged through the forest, following an unlikely – looking trail until they came to another small, seaside town. It smelled strongly of fish. They found the wharves fairly easily, being that there were a lot of boats nearby. Masts tend to stick out, if you have the sense to look up.

Bethgael and Maggie – Spider, she amended: she was never going to get used to that – walked up to the nearest sailor. A human with an ugly scar on his face, he leered up at her. She rolled her eyes. "Treasure Hunt," she said.

The sailor looked confused. "I dun know what yer talkin' aboot."

"Which boat will take us to the Treasure Hunt?"

"Dun ersk me, how'd I know?"

"I think the lady is inquiring of you which ship will take her and her good servant here to Emerald Island," said a smooth voice behind them. "As am I. If you would be so kind…"

Bethgael spun around and looked directly into a pair of brown eyes, ignoring her brother's muttered "Servant?"

The sailor thumbed them in a general direction, and the suave gentleman joined them as they walked along. "If I may introduce myself," he said. "I am Taliesin, but most people just call me Bard."

Bethgael regarded the man soberly. A human, with dark brown hair, he carried himself with grace. He struck her as a bit of a charmer, and she resolved to keep her distance – she'd come across his type before. She noted the dagger – not a very good one – hanging off his belt. "Beth, " she said shortly. "My brother, Mag – uh, Spider."

"Spider?" Bard said with an amused look.

Bethgael arched an eyebrow at her brother again.

"Yes?" Spider said.

"Oh, nothing," Bethgael replied innocently.

"Well, I am certainly pleased to meet you both," Bard said. "You don't see elves out of the Tularean Forest, often, unless you're heading over to Avlee. I am a Druid, so I have a sort of kinship with you."

"If you say so," Bethgael remarked.

"If I may ask you, what brings you both so far away from your kind?"

"You may not ask," Spider said.

Bard held his hands out in a soothing gesture. "No offence intended… Spider. You have the look of a magic-user about you," he said smoothly.

"I dabble in the elemental arts," Spider replied.

Bard turned to Bethgael. "And you?"

"Oh, I do a bit of everything, I guess. I was never very good at anything in particular, so I never specialised."

"Can you handle that crossbow?"

"I do alright, although I'd prefer a good elven bow. I just don't have one right now."

Bard smiled charmingly. "Well, perhaps we – "

He was interrupted by a loud raucous voice – singing lazily.

"In Harmondale there lived a maid
Sing holy roly doolart.
And she was mistress of her arts
Willikins wollikins magpie farts."

The song was followed by a dwarf. A very, very drunk dwarf. He walked carefully up to the three of them. "Well, hello there," he said, looking up – way up – at Bethgael. "Nice little piece of nothing you're almost not wearing there."

Bethgael resisted the urge to pat the fellow on the head.

"Now, look here, that's my sister you're - " Spider started to say, but the dwarf had already moved on… up the ramp of the ship that Spider, Bethgael and Bard had been about to board.

"Well, at least I won't be the only one puking on this trip," Bethgael remarked.

--

So, Bethgael thought as she hung over the side of the ship, ensuring her prophecy, now I am wondering why I agreed to this. I hate ships. I have no desire at all to own a castle. I am sure that I am turning a nice shade of leafy green. Goes well with my eyes.

"You must be Bethy." A gruff voice sounded at about shoulder height. "Here, have a bit of this, it'll settle your stomach." She looked down at the aforementioned dwarf, who was offering her a jug of something. She took a sniff.

"What is it?"

"Go on – it'll put hairs on your chest."

Bethgael rolled her eyes and took a swig. It did not go down very well. "What is that?" she gasped.

"Cleans you out."

"Oh, yes," she said as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "I'll remember this stuff the next time I need to clear a blocked nose – or a blocked sewer, for that matter."

"Well, you've stopped emptying your guts, haven't you?"

"Give me a second, I'm sure I'll get back to it presently."

"Well, Miss Bethy, I hear you and I are on the same trip."

Bethgael took another tentative mouthful of the dwarf's drink. She winced as she swallowed, handing back his jug. "Beth, please. And you are?"

The dwarf bowed ostentatiously, the effect only slightly spoiled by the sword hanging off his hip – it was a little big for him, and wasn't in very good condition. The man looked strong, though, Bethgael thought, for his height. "Caber, at your service. I have spoken to your friend, Bard."

"He isn't my – " Bethgael was interrupted by the arrival of Bard himself, closely tailed by Spider.

"I see you two are getting acquainted. Caber, have you given my proposal any thought? I have suggested, " Bard went on, turning to Bethgael, "that Caber, here, should join us on our quest."

"Our quest?"

"Why, yes. I think the four of us would make a good team, don't you?" Bard asked. "An Elven Ranger, a Dwarven Knight, an Elven Sorcerer, and of course, a Human Druid. What better combination can there be?"

Bethgael looked at Spider. Spider looked at Bethgael. He shrugged.

"Sure, why not?" she said, albeit a trifle guardedly.

"Which just leaves one last thing," Caber said.

"What's that?" Bard asked.

"I haven't yet been introduced to our 'Elven Sorcerer'."

"Ah," Bard replied. "May I present to you, Caber the Dwarf: Spider the Sorcerer."

"Spider? An Elf called Spider?"

"Yes," Spider said indignantly. "Dark Spider, actually."

Caber threw back his head and laughed. "You don't have the looks for it, boy."

"See, I told you so." Bethgael remarked.

"Oh, shut up," Spider said.

~*~*~*~

Next: Episode Two: Emerald Island – Dragonfly Paradise
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